Warthogs

For six months work has been relatively slow and now I have five projects on the go - all of them urgent high priority (bloody sales guys). Last week I had a business trip to South Africa.

For a while there, I was getting worried about maintaining my frequent-flyer Emirates gold card. The thought of being downgraded to silver card status fills me with a ghastly horror. I have nightmares (yes, more of them) of turning up at the airport, walking up to the check-in counter, reaching for my gold card and - AAAaaaaargh! - it’s only silver!

[And then I look down and find I'm naked.]

Anyhow, it looks like - phew! - I’ll maintain my gold card this year. During the week I flew to Johannesburg incorporating a round trip to Namibia. It was my first time visiting South Africa; and the only other time I’ve been to the continent - to visit a client in Sudan - I didn’t see very much of the place.

Luckily my client in Namibia had the right idea - our meeting was held in a Game Park Reserve, in an open-air bar beside a watering hole. We discussed multimedia message centres, WAP gateways, customer detail record formats, billing interfaces and message transcoding against a live soundtrack of snuffling warthogs and birdsong. Understandably my client was more interested in the wildlife and the contents of their beer glasses than my presentation. I can’t say the presentation held much thrill for me either - but if there’s a better way to do business I haven’t come across it yet.

Johannesburg has a reputation for violence. Even driving through the city centre is risky and it is inadvisable to go out alone in the city after dark. Perhaps this is just the same as any other large city and I am too accustomed to the relative safety of Dubai.

My client drove me through the shantytowns of Johannesburg, revealing poverty on a phenomenal scale. These ghettos cover acres of the city; sheds constructed of corrugated tin and/or scrap wood with poor sanitation and strewn with rotting piles of rubbish. In contrast, the suburbs of Johannesburg are pleasant leafy areas populated with opulent villas. There appears to be little in between.

I am glad to be home

Home

Three weeks ago we moved in to our new house in Springs 2. I had been dreading it for the last year. Of course the reality didn’t match my imagination-fuelled nightmares involving - variously - having the movers turn up and realizing I’m naked; wanton desecration of my priceless set of vintage mismatched mugs; and being surrounded by several thousand boxes and knowing my passport is in ONE of them.

Andrew took the day off work and we booked the movers for 10am. Six men turned up and swarmed about our apartment, pouncing and wrapping everything in acres of paper, bubble wrap and packing tape.

At one point Andrew made the mistake of remaining stationary for 30 seconds and they had him taped up to the knees before we even noticed.

We couldn’t believe the number of boxes produced by our one-bedroom apartment - not to mention hairballs. I was mortified by the thriving follicular subculture revealed by the removal of beds and sofas. Personally I didn’t think two people were capable of such abundant molting - albeit over the course of six years - and we don’t even have a dog to blame it on.

Speaking of which, I’ve been trying to talk Andrew into getting a pet but have been met with stubborn resistance. I guess my cause isn’t helped by the fact that Andrew breaks into a rash of snot within five paces of a canine or feline friend.

Andrew argues that it is not fair to keep a dog in Dubai. It might sound like a reasonable point, but then it’s hardly humane to keep PEOPLE in this country.

Anyhow, the other day I had a breakthrough when Andrew agreed to a pet beetle. I lovingly tended Bob The Beetle, feeding him lettuce and taking him for walks. Bob lived with us for many gloriously happy hours before he abandoned us in favour of our neighbour, who presumably feeds him better food. If I ever come across the ungrateful insect I’ll be sure to give him a good stepping on.

Having demonstrated my sense of responsibility, I’m hopeful of persuading Andrew into keeping a mouse next

Somewhere in Africa. Probably Namibia

Camping

Keren, Mark and Wayne mock Miles as he tries to extract his car from a sand dune

 

Fairly common sight in the desert

 

Arty: skyline

 

Sand, lots of

 

Husband after just two beers

 

Wayne and Bunny