Boys/toys

Last Saturday, Abu Dhabi hosted a Formula 1 Festival and Andrew and Danny decided to attend. I was allowed to tag along as honorary totty, despite flatly refusing to wash Andrew’s car in lip-gloss and a bikini while pressing my soapy body up against the windscreen.

 

The festival was scheduled to kick off at 9am, which meant we had to leave Dubai two hours earlier. Normally it requires a defibrillator to get Andrew awake before 8am, but Danny turned up on the cusp of dawn and we were on the road a quarter hour later.

 

We arrived in Abu Dhabi shortly before 9am and Andrew and Dan spent an hour wandering the route scoping the best site and checking out the girls dispensing complimentary ear plugs.

 

We finally positioned ourselves in front of a giant screen. There was a spectacular aerial display – yay! The UAE football team drove by in an open top lorry – double yay! The Sheikh arrived in the VIP stand – yaaaay! The drivers waved to the crowd from the recently vacated open top lorry – well you know, I wouldn’t be able to pick Fernando Alonso out of a pink McLaren. Bernie Ecclestone demonstrated his mastery of the English language – it wasn’t very good. The Sheikh shook hands with the UAE football team – yawn.

 

Three hours later I had fully exhausted the entertainment potential of sticking my earplugs up Andrew’s nose. Thus far, there had not been even a whiff of engine oil, apart from the golf buggies patrolling the route. So I excused myself and repaired to The Hilton for a late breakfast washed down by Irish coffee.

 

Three coffees later the guys reappeared looking sweaty and morosely dishevelled. They had missed the stunts (apparently some of the drivers performed doughnuts outside the VIP stand). I didn’t feel like I missed out on anything since Andrew routinely pops a doughnut every time he backs out of our garage.

 

The lads pronounced the event a bit of a wipe out, which was a shame. I had a great time and pronounced the day a ‘roaring shuccesh’