Home > Family, Hunka husband > More options than you might think

More options than you might think

Recently, many of my friends – mainly mothers from my playcentre and coffee groups – started being grievously afflicted with pregnancy again.

Of course I was thrilled for each of them, but I was surprised how hard I took it.

You see, I only ever wanted one child. Just one. I’m not greedy – unless we’re talking about profiteroles. And Finn is so much more than I ever wanted or dreamed of.

But I found myself assailed with regret that I’m so old and gnarly and limited of options; and nostalgia for Finn’s rapidly disappearing babyhood. It feels like just days ago a minutes-old miniature human was laid across my chest WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS 18 MONTHS HAS THERE BEEN SOME CATACLYSMIC RUPTURE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM?

But worst was the terrible, crushing grief that I would never again look into the eyes of my child for the first time, or have my newborn nestle into the crook of my neck, or nurse a baby in the still, enchanted hours when the rest of the world is asleep.

Husband finally noticed the inexplicable weeping – or the notable build-up of soggy tissues. “We could always try for another,” he suggested helplessly.

And perhaps if I were a decade younger and hadn’t been clinically infertile for most of those years, the conversation might have lasted longer than a croissant and cup of coffee.

I didn’t feel ‘trying for another’ was amongst my/our limited options.

Instead, I focused on the positives of having an only child – the freedom; never having to arbitrate arguments over who gets to sit in the passenger seat of the car – which was pretty effective. Also, I mercilessly tormented my pregnant friends about how their lives were effectively over.

So in May, when I found out I was with child, it was – to apply my gift for understatement – rather literally a shock to the system.

I hadn’t been feeling well: exhaustion and an inspecific nausea that came and never really went. ‘It feels almost like . . . morning sickness,’ I remarked to Her Goatiness, quickly appending ‘HAHAHA!’ to emphasize how outrageous the suggestion was.

If nothing else, I should have instantly recognized my pathological aversion to caffeine, since the only time that happened before was when pregnant with Finn. Yet it was only weeks later, when I checked my diary, that I considered gestation as a possible cause.

I felt entirely foolish buying a pregnancy test kit, and didn’t mention it to Andrew because, I mean, really. The whole notion was just so PREPOSTEROUS. I recalled reading a magazine once – probably Women’s Weekly – with an article titled: ‘I thought I was pregnant, but it turned out to be a uterine tumour!’, so I figured that was much more likely.

When two lines appeared on the pregnancy test stick, I had to revert to the instructions several times. Because no matter how many times I reread the sentence, ‘Double lines are an indication of pregnancy’, it still didn’t make any sense.

When it finally did, I toppled off the toilet seat. (Gave my head a nasty bang off the corner of the bath.)

Well I had to tell SOMEONE and figured it should probably be Andrew and since he was on a business trip, I Skyped him.

Me> I’ve got news. You should sit.

Andrew (warily but not half wary enough)> Oh yes?

Me> I want to show you something.

Andrew> Um . . . what . . . IS that?

Me> It’s a pregnancy test stick.

Andrew> Ok. Why are you showing it to me?

Me> Because it’s positive.

Andrew> Oh.

Andrew> Whose is it?

Me> Whose do you THINK? It’s MINE! I’m hardly going to be sitting in our living room holding someone else’s wee-soaked stick, am I?

Andrew> Wow.

Andrew> Woah.

Andrew> Hey, congratulations!

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  1. 19/07/2013 at 16:24

    Tremendous news! Congratulations to you and Andrew! Just imagine all of the new opportunities to terrorize wee little folk! Very best wishes from Canada!

  2. 19/07/2013 at 18:45

    Oh my word – this is wonderful news. Congratulations to you both. I’m really excited for you. Wow wow wow. Words are failing me. Once they return I’ll send a proper message.

  3. deadlyjelly
    20/07/2013 at 17:12

    Thank you! :-D FG, I can’t tell you how much I relish what will hopefully be a banquet of new opportunities to terrorise wee folk. And old folk; I don’t like to discriminate.

    Cian, I was rendered speechless for about three weeks so I fully understand the words failure. I think I was kind of shell-shocked for about a month. We’re pretty excited about it now – well, Husband was pretty much thrilled with himself as soon as I broke the news – but realised the other day that I’d hit the 20 week mark and OMG BABY ALERT!


  4. vet
    22/07/2013 at 18:15

    Wow. Congratulations!

    You’ll be, I know, only marginally less thrilled to hear that my Other Half is in the same condition, albeit slightly more advanced, so I can continue to pull seniority on you as a parent.

    Enjoy pregnancy, again. Blog more often once you get your power of expression back.

  5. 22/07/2013 at 23:56

    It just occurred to me. Poor Andrew will have to endure another round of ‘pregnancy brain’.

  6. deadlyjelly
    23/07/2013 at 17:54

    Aw Vet, big fat CONGRATULATIONS!!! to you and Susan, I’m so thrilled for you. Guess that explains the shortage of blog posts recently :-) Yes, yes, I know I’m hardly one to talk/write.

    FG – I don’t think I ever fully recovered from the pregnancy brain . . . I thought people were just being mean when they said it was a permanent condition. SUCKS.


  7. Anonymous
    23/08/2013 at 10:52

    Ah Niamh, this is a wonderful news. Congratulations to you and to Andrew. Second baby is a wonderful experience.

    We were blessed with our second child 2 and a half months ago.

    An old friend of your from Jinny days.

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