Although we emailed sporadically, and I met up with Helen when I passed through Dubai on the way to and from Ireland last year, the reality is we don’t know each other that well. Up to recently, all we had in common was a mutual appreciation for floating in briny water in a manner similar [...]
Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category
Introduction to frozen water
Posted in Friends, New Zealand, tagged 260-t19, fishing, floppy hat, huka falls, kaimanawa road, ladder of certain doom, mountain biking, nine times table, open road, pillars of hercules, sh1, sunglasses, swingbridge, taupo, tokoroa, tongariro, tongariro river, topo map, tree trunk gorge, trout, turangi on 04/08/2009 | 8 Comments »
The Invisible Grotto of the Travel Crate Door
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, New Zealand, Outlaws, tagged Outlaws, south island, public transport, oamaru, pacific blue, tokoroa, turangi, thelma and louise, brad pitt, gay cowboy theme, disaster strikes, tentacles of doom, travel crate, crate hire on 31/07/2009 | 4 Comments »
Husband left for Oamaru this day last week to catch the last weekend of duck shooting and partake in some serious alcohol abuse with the Outlaws.
I did not join him because my friend, Helen, was over from Dubai. She had asked me to accompany her on a three-day road trip to visit her friend in [...]
Destructing character (chainsaw optional)
Posted in Friends, New Zealand, tagged arrogant prick, Friends, hard time, humble prick on 17/07/2009 | 5 Comments »
Me: JohnO, I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to your self-image, but you are not humble.
JohnO: Oh come on! I’m certainly not- what’s the opposite of humble?
Me: Arrogant?
JohnO: I’m not arrogant-
Haze: Well, plenty of people have called you an arrogant prick.
JohnO: I suppose.
Me: And let’s face it, how many people have called you [...]
Why can’t antidotes come in pill format?
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, tagged antidote, car maintenance, curly coat retriever, dog, pill, poison, puppy, suppository, syringe on 17/03/2009 | 5 Comments »
Jason: Scenario. Husband and Jed. Critically ill. Fatally diseased. You hold the antidote, but you only have one syringe. You can only save one.
Me: Does it have to be a syringe? Why can’t the antidote be in handy medicine form, like a pill or a suppositary? Actually on second thoughts, forget the suppository-
Jason: Quit stalling. Which one?
Me: Oh [...]
Getting freakier
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, tagged dream, interpreting dreams, piercing, subconscious, tongue on 09/03/2009 | 3 Comments »
Me: I had the weirdest dream last night-
Husband: Oh yes? What was it?
Me: Well, we had a baby daughter.
Husband: Aw, that’s nice-
Me: Yeah, except we asked Salmiya to babysit one night, and she pierced our baby’s tongue.
Husband: <speechless>
Me: Bitch.
Me: I mean, who pierces a six month old baby’s TONGUE?
It’s just as well I don’t dream much. I [...]
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
Posted in Friends on 25/12/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Jetlag
Posted in Dubai, Friends, tagged break on through, dirhams, Dubai, dubai airport, garhoud, more restaurant, mustachioed men, other side, the wall on 24/11/2008 | 9 Comments »
For those concerned about my global whereabouts, I caught my flight on Friday due to a cosmic miracle involving planning, timekeeping and pure luck. I arrived in Dubai Airport at the antisocial-bordering-on-criminal hour of 06:30 hrs, where Husband collected me.
Over years of business travel, I have developed a method I call ‘break on through to the other side’. This [...]
Snot vapour
Posted in Friends, Ireland, tagged cocaine, cold, cough, flu, headcold, influenza, sneeze, snot vapour, virus on 20/11/2008 | 10 Comments »
Four days ago, I contracted a headcold. Prickly throat, grumpy cough. It was mild to inclement, as colds go. I self medicated with 5000mg of calcium in powder format, and congratulated myself on my stoicism in the face of disease.
Turned out the cold was just warming up. Yesterday morning, it struck me down in my [...]
How to lid your wody of toxins
Posted in Dubai, Friends, tagged arse, bathrobe, cleopatra's spa, Dubai, floating, lesbian, mud, nudity, seaweed wrap, sunrise room, swimsuit, uae, warm lake on 04/11/2008 | 9 Comments »
Three weeks ago, completely by chance, I bumped into an old friend. That is, somebody I have known for many years, as opposed to an ancient liver-spotted fossil who tells you repeatedly about her colostomy bag. In contrast, Jill* is young and lovely, and does not have a colostomy bag.
Today I met Jill again and [...]
Got to be less than two degrees of separation
Posted in Friends, Ireland, tagged bridal, crop, elfin, gamine, hair, hairspray, kylie, makeup, minogue, party, stylist, wedding on 20/10/2008 | 4 Comments »
Sorry about the paucity of blog posts. Husband and I left Kenmare last Wednesday on our Great Road Trip, and it’s been all go, top gear, maximum throttle. First up was Róisín and Tim’s wedding on 16th.
I will write more about the great event later, but for now, this short post is dedicated to my [...]
Even the wedding cake was in tiers
Posted in Family, Friends, Ireland, tagged bridesmaid, bridezilla, fondant, icing, royal, tier, wedding, wedding cake on 14/10/2008 | 3 Comments »
Shortly before Husband and I left New Zealand, Róisín called me.
“You know your mother?” she said.
“My, er, mother,” I repeated. Róisín’s conversational gambits are often challenging, but this was exceptionally quirky even for her.
“Woman who gave birth to you.”
“Oh, her. Well, can you ever really KNOW someone?” I said, playing for time.
“Ok look, how good [...]
My country
Posted in Family, Friends, Ireland, tagged banshee, beara peninsula, beara way, black valley, blackberry, bunane, castle rock, cummeenduff, curraghmore, elements, fairies, fairy, farranfore, folklore, fuschia, inclement, Ireland, kerry airport, kerry way, killarney, lackabane, legend, leprechaun, macgillycuddy, map, myth, old kenmare road, old killarney road, ordnance survey, reeks, ring of kerry, tarmac, torc, tourism, weather, windy gap on 04/10/2008 | 5 Comments »
Of all the countries I’ve lived or visited, I love Ireland best. Perhaps I always will.
Of course, I am shamelessly biased. Partly I find comfort in the familiar; or it may have something to do with the smell. That is what first hit me fresh off the plane at Kerry Airport; specifically, the bucolic bouquet [...]
Trip down sandy lane
Posted in Dubai, Friends, tagged 4x4, activity, arab, arabic, bashing, camel, desert drive, driving, Dubai, dune, four by four, middle east, tourism, wadi on 20/09/2008 | 8 Comments »
Being back in Dubai felt entirely surreal. It was unsettling arriving at the airport and not having a place of our own to go to. Raff and Carole donated their apartment on The Palm, which was tremendously comforting since we stayed there before leaving Dubai last year. The only thing missing was Raff and Carole.
Our [...]
Great taste in family
Posted in Dubai, Friends, tagged Dubai, holiday, london, travel on 16/09/2008 | 4 Comments »
Sorry about the blogpost famine. Husband and I left Auckland for Dubai on Wednesday afternoon. It has been three and a quarter days of intense socialising and administration. I got in some swimming along the beach on Friday and Saturday morning; only 1000m, which was quite enough considering I haven’t swum since leaving Dubai last [...]
Cracking myself up
Posted in Friends on 02/08/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Nige: I’ve got this friend called [Narrator's Note: can't remember name], who got a job as a [Narrator's Note: can't remember what] in [Narrator's Note: can't remember where]. Dangerous stuff. The guy he took over from – his predecessor – was blown up.
Me: You could say: he got fired.
John, Haze and Nige: <silence>
Me: D’you get it? [...]
Espresso
Posted in Friends, tagged breville, cafe roma, espresso machine, ohakune, tease on 01/08/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Haze: You brought an espresso machine – on a ski weekend?
Me: Indeed. By the way, there are terms and conditions surrounding its use.
Haze: Oh?
Me: Yes. You can have coffee as long as you don’t mock me. However, if you mock me for bringing an espresso machine along with a measuring spoon and tamper and milk [...]
General frivolity
Posted in Friends, New Zealand, tagged awfull, broadband, bunch of bastards, naked dsl, ohakune, skiing, slingshot, tramping, useless on 01/08/2008 | 4 Comments »
This morning I set off for Ohakune. Haze promised ‘general frivolities’, so I’m quite looking forward to that. If there’s no frivolity of any nature, there’s going to be trouble. I am fully equipped: walking boots, hot water bottle, two duvets, bottle of port, lashings of thermal underwear, hats and scarves.
My internet connection has been [...]
Road Trip
Posted in Friends, New Zealand, tagged bay of islands, ferry, russell on 10/07/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Grimly determined to tour as much of New Zealand as their five-day visit and the driving rain would allow, Fitz and Belle spearheaded an overnight trip to the Bay of Islands. Like us, they thought it was a half-hour drive. After all, New Zealand isn’t that big.
Although bigger than you might think. In fact you [...]
The difference between Fitz and Husband
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, New Zealand, tagged auckland, bethell's beach, holly hunter, north island, rollers, surf, the piano, waves on 06/07/2008 | Leave a Comment »
The scene: early afternoon at Bethell’s Beach. Stately clouds roam the sky. Seagulls wheel overhead. A fine mist drifts inland from the exploding waves. Clotted volcanic sand huddles close, freshly black with rain. Swatches of surf-froth shiver in the gusting wind.
Fitz crouches to photograph the froth. He ponders the exigency of flash, searches for the best [...]
Small, drowning mammals
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, New Zealand, tagged atmospheric conditions, auckland, cloud, drunk, fog, inclement, mist, weather on 05/07/2008 | 1 Comment »
Fitz and Belle arrived yesterday for a five day holiday to see a bit of the country. Unfortunately, little of the country has been visible through the mist, fog, cloud and swirling rain.
About the only sensible response was to drink plenty of alcohol, which we duly did. Husband is presently lying in bed moaning, and [...]
All I’m askin! Is for a little respect! Just a little bit! Hey! Baby!
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, New Zealand, The Muse, tagged 122 queen street, 1997, bridgewater, diving bell and the butterfly, elle, france, jean dominique bauby, locked in syndrome, mathieu amalric, max von sydow, northcote, vicarious, wanky movie on 29/06/2008 | 5 Comments »
I love movies. A good film can often make me laugh. It can occasionally make me jump and spill coffee all over myself. However, although I’ve heard rumour of movies that can evoke a visceral response, this rarely happens to me. It’s been a while since a film made my heart beat faster or wrung [...]
Vapour cone
Posted in Friends, tagged australia, avoca, bennelong point, coathanger, darling harbour, dorman long, doyles restaurant, jorn utzon, mach 1, mach 2, mach 3, opera house, sydney harbour, the australian, the rocks, vapour cone, watsons bay on 22/06/2008 | 1 Comment »
For Husband and me, an exciting day involves putting whole banana skins in the compost or finding a spider under the toilet seat. In comparison, Sydney was like a Prandtl-Glauert singularity at mach 2.
Far too much alcohol passed through my system, delicately balanced on a diet of linseed, green leafy vegetables and organic pulses. Add [...]
Contemporary romance
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, New Zealand, tagged auckland, blitzed, drunk, evidence of relationship, fuzz, north island, nz immigration, plod, police, residence visa, topical romance, waitakere, wasted on 01/06/2008 | Leave a Comment »
I’m on a roll: NZ Immigration approved my residency visa ‘in principle’. It has been two weeks since Husband and I groveled along to the Henderson branch to submit a rose tinted account of our relationship; more evidence supporting our entirely contemporary frenziedly nibbling romance; and faxed references from friends and family.
Thanks a million to all [...]
Róisín and Tim
Posted in Friends, tagged Family on 13/03/2008 | 2 Comments »
Róisín and Tim are engaged! I am so thrilled and excited for them. This is the happy couple on the night they agreed to shackle themselves to each other for the remainder of dreary eternity.
Looks like they can’t wait
Fitz and Belle at the Montgomerie
Posted in Dubai, Friends, Hunka husband on 14/12/2007 | Leave a Comment »
Put that tongue away
Posted in Dubai, Friends, Hunka husband, tagged austin powers, cannas, christmas, party on 14/12/2007 | Leave a Comment »
Teeth
Posted in Dubai, Friends, Hunka husband, tagged dental on 19/11/2007 | Leave a Comment »
David was a bit plastered when he took this . . .
. . . and when I took this
I have no idea what Husband’s excuse is
Chantal
Posted in Friends, Ireland, tagged ahillies, cliffs, climbing, garinish, hag's glen, kenmare, kerry, macgillycuddy reeks, southwest ireland, walking on 26/09/2007 | Leave a Comment »
My gorgeous friend Chantal and me, on the cliffs near Garinish
Magic day
Looking back out the Hag’s Glen
