Smart/Casual has shot up to #9 on the best-seller list for the week ending September 2009. Ok, I’m still not sure to WHERE this best seller list applies. The whole of Malaysia? Kuala Lumpur? Seri Kembangan? The bookshop on the corner of Jelan Besar and Jelan Utama?
Oh, whatever, I don’t care. Any list in which I compete with Stephanie Myer, [...]
Archive for the ‘The Muse’ Category
Still kicking ass in Kuala Lumpur
Posted in Books, The Muse, tagged best seller, dan brown doesn't count, jelan besar, jelan utama, john grisham, kuala lumpur, malaysia, niamh shaw, seri kembangan, smart casual, stephanie myer, tony parsons, twilight on 30/10/2009 | 5 Comments »
Smart/Casual hits the medium time
Posted in The Muse, tagged #10, bestseller, bestselling, hitting the big time, malaysia, niamh shaw, smart casual, the medium time on 25/08/2009 | 6 Comments »
This post is brought to you by a bestselling author. BECAUSE guess whose was the number 1 bestselling book in Malaysia for the week ending 2 August 2009?
If you guessed me, you would be wrong – but only slightly – certainly not so wrong as to be perverted.
According to – well, some obscure PR company [...]
Fridge Liberated of Frost
Posted in New Zealand, The Muse, Weird, tagged creative energy, defrost, fridge, fridge liberated of frost, glacier, inherent explicability, jam jars, startling application of fish, the tate on 19/08/2009 | 9 Comments »
After the drive home last weekend, I arrived back in Auckland with a surfeit of creative energy. My synapses were firing on all cylinders, and a few I didn’t even know I had.
I didn’t know what I would do with it all – maybe write a blog post! Or several! Finish another book! Take up [...]
The two words that stand between me and literary genius
Posted in The Muse, tagged about time, abstinence, austerity, book, discipline, extraordinary literary genius, little black dress, medicine, niamh shaw, shining beacon of discipline, shinsplints, smart casual, spartan on 29/06/2009 | 5 Comments »
The second book should have been easier.
After all, it took seven years to complete Smart/Casual. That’s a fair apprenticeship. If I had trained as a doctor instead, I could be performing three open-heart surgeries a day by now.
That’s depressing.
Anyway, the second book. Obviously, it was going to be better – much better – than Smart/Casual. [...]
Relativity
Posted in Hunka husband, The Muse, tagged about time, creative writing, deadline, first draft, flat tyre, manuscript, muse, niamh shaw, novel, perspective, second novel, shopping list, shrill voice, stress scale, writing on 23/06/2009 | 4 Comments »
Last week I finished the first draft of About Time.
The pressure had been mounting for weeks.
At this point, it is worth bearing in mind that, everything being relative, our lives are comparatively stress-free. Right up there at the top of the Stress Scale is what to eat for breakfast, followed closely by when/where to go [...]
Cosmic prank
Posted in The Muse, tagged Dubai, bookshed, submission, rejection, niamh shaw, little black dress, smart casual, chick lit, cheeky spank boy, miss snark, bloody relish, frozen chicken, synopsis, personal vendetta, litopia, writers community, writers' forum, writers and artists yearbook, humourous fiction, SASE, submission guidelines, ampersand agency, peter buckman, cosmic prank on 16/04/2009 | 13 Comments »
When I completed Smart/Casual in early 2007, it was 90,443 words long and most comfortably described as ‘Chick Lit’ (or ‘Clit Lit’ as my buddy JohnO likes to call it, the cheeky spank meister).
By that stage, I was sick of the sound of my own voice. If any of my characters had walked through the [...]
How to avoid painful paper cuts
Posted in The Muse, tagged chick lit, chicklit, comi tragedy, creative property, habanero chili, intellectual property, marian keyes, ming the merciless, niamh shaw, pace, paper cuts, pinnacle of achievement, plot, romance, sharp edge, smart casual, tension, top tips, viz on 11/04/2009 | 2 Comments »
Before I started Smart/Casual, my greatest literary accomplishment was a Top Tip published by Viz.
I don’t know whether Viz claims copyright on Top Tips, but it’s not as if the bastards paid for it. In fact, all I got for my tip was an empty envelope with a Viz pen-shaped hole in the side. Since [...]
How to use your face as a hoe
Posted in New Zealand, Outlaws, The Muse, tagged analogies, how to use your face as a hoe, in laws, mountain bike, open heart surgery, Outlaws, padded lycra shorts, toe clips on 03/04/2009 | 8 Comments »
Yesterday I cycled up to Sister and Boyfriend-In-Law’s house to lash myself to a desk and force out a word or two in a manner similar to performing open heart surgery on oneself.
As you can tell, progress on the second novel is going well.
I borrowed Mother-In-Law’s mountain bike for the trip, which comes accessorised with [...]
Clause prohibiting poodles in trenchcoats
Posted in Books, The Muse, tagged niamh shaw, little black dress, smart casual, contract, clause, stipulation, martini, fluffy mule, stiletto, poodle in a raincoat, trenchcoat, cover, dead spider, apparel, transitive verb on 05/02/2009 | 6 Comments »
Before signing with Little Black Dress, I requested of my agent that he add a clause to the contract stipulating that the cover contain no:
(a) martini glasses
(b) fluffy mules
(c) female apparel in particular stilettos and/or mobile phones
(d) poodles in raincoats
I know, I’m hard nosed.
Little Black Dress just sent through the cover for Smart/Casual, and here [...]
Savaged by context
Posted in New Zealand, The Muse, tagged beach, context, creative, curly coat retriever, expectation, ficus, labrador, muse, writer's block on 15/01/2009 | 2 Comments »
The Creative is playing hard to get. I had the best intentions this morning. After an early morning walk with Husband, I went to a local cafe to work on About Time. I sat for a while, then had a scone, and sat some more. Eventually, I came up with the word:
‘ficus’.
I thought, that’s not [...]
Vocation: Rock Star
Posted in Hunka husband, The Muse, tagged novel, acknowledgements, dedication, book, write, oscar, academy award, olympic, gold on 11/12/2008 | 7 Comments »
I have to write acknowledgements and dedication pages for my first novel.
Before I even started Smart/Casual, I used to lie in bed at night composing my acknowledgements. Just to put this in context, I used to also draft my Oscar acceptance speech, my Olympic gold winning address, and my rock concert introduction. The latter went: [...]
Hymen Raider and the Penetrators
Posted in The Muse, Weird, tagged about time, novel, profanity, questionnaire, survey, swearing, worst band name on 08/08/2008 | 8 Comments »
I need a name for a band that is beyond terrible.
In ‘About Time’, one of my characters plays in a grunge band in college. The band is more about volume than musical technique and suffers from anti-establishment aspirations. In case you need to get into character, he doesn’t wash much and is going through a swearing phase.
Here’s what [...]
On Amazon, darling
Posted in The Muse, tagged amazon, buy, novel, order, pre order, purchase, smart casual on 07/08/2008 | 2 Comments »
This is tremendously exciting! Although possibly not half – or even three millionths – as much for you as it is for me. It is now possible to <insert drumroll here> pre-order Smart/Casual on Amazon!
How awesomely awesome is that?!
The Man Who Must Not Be Discussed found the listing on Amazon. Husband sent the link to [...]
All I’m askin! Is for a little respect! Just a little bit! Hey! Baby!
Posted in Friends, Hunka husband, New Zealand, The Muse, tagged 122 queen street, 1997, bridgewater, diving bell and the butterfly, elle, france, jean dominique bauby, locked in syndrome, mathieu amalric, max von sydow, northcote, vicarious, wanky movie on 29/06/2008 | 5 Comments »
I love movies. A good film can often make me laugh. It can occasionally make me jump and spill coffee all over myself. However, although I’ve heard rumour of movies that can evoke a visceral response, this rarely happens to me. It’s been a while since a film made my heart beat faster or wrung [...]
Overdoing the typing
Posted in The Muse, Weird, tagged mock, repetitive strain injury, rsi, tease on 25/06/2008 | 3 Comments »
I have sprained my finger. Yesterday I opened the vegetable drawer in the fridge with the ring finger of my right hand, and felt it twinge in protest. Later, in a frenzy of creative passion, I overextended it while energetically reaching for the ‘9′ key.
You may mock, but it’s very sore. And if you’re the [...]
Qualified author
Posted in Hunka husband, New Zealand, The Muse, tagged agent, auckland, book shop, borders, first book, headline publishing, literary agent, little black dress, manuscript, muse, novel, otahuhu, publish, romance, submission, sylvia park, writing on 26/04/2008 | 1 Comment »
I have just been offered a publishing contract! Yippee! Apologies in advance for the number of exclamation points in this post – I’m not proud of it! Little Black Dress Books have offered me a one, two or three book publishing deal!
This afternoon, Husband and I went into Borders at Sylvia Park to check out [...]
High five! Yeah!
Posted in Hunka husband, The Muse, tagged breakthrough to success, christopher howard, cognitive reimprinting, empowerment, fridge magnet, life coaching, neuro linguistic programming, nlp, perform to the max, pursuit of excellence, self discovery on 04/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
A while ago, I was given a free pass to a 3-day Christopher Howard ‘Breakthrough to Success’ seminar, possibly because I do a lot of moaning. It is a ‘journey to self-discovery, empowerment and finding your life’s purpose’, using the ‘cutting edge sciences of Results Technologies’ including Neuro Linguistic Programming, cognitive re-imprinting and er, other stuff.
[...]
My Agent
Posted in The Muse, tagged editing, literary agent, manuscript, published, rewrite, submission on 22/07/2007 | Leave a Comment »
I’m so excited about going to Ireland at the end of this month, I got around to booking flights last week. We’re both looking forward to the break – Husband will join me for a couple of months mid-August. That’s if his passport turns up – oh, don’t even get me STARTED.
One date is fixed: I need [...]
Starving writer
Posted in The Muse, tagged bender, completed, literary agent, manuscript, muse, published, submission on 20/05/2007 | Leave a Comment »
Finally it is crunch time: time to find an agent to represent ‘Smart/Casual’.
Recently, my muse went on a drugs and alcohol fuelled bender. Eh, it’s been threatening for a while, the addled old lush. When I tracked her down, I reluctantly admitted her to rehab. Since then she has been out on day release [...]
Reward offered for return of muse
Posted in Dubai, Hunka husband, The Muse, tagged dell, gaming, hewlett packard, laptop, m1210, notepad, review, writer's block on 25/11/2006 | 1 Comment »
I think Róisín kidnapped my muse, because there hasn’t been a cheep for days. It doesn’t help that I read over old work and consider it a pile of crap; alternatively, I think, “Wow, that’s terrific!” followed swiftly by, “How can I ever write like this again? Pass the razor.”
I’ve been here before and [...]
Willpower
Posted in Dubai, The Muse, tagged bribery, novel, willpower, writer's block, writing on 19/11/2006 | Leave a Comment »
When Róisín left, the writing limped along for a while. I’m happy to report that it’s roughly back on track, and I only have the Grand Denouement, The Twist and The Epilogue to write. Andrew has procured me a pair of Tiffany earrings which are proving more effective than any willpower I’ve ever managed to [...]
Arse-shaped imprint
Posted in The Muse, tagged bum print, Exercise, gym, middle east, training on 06/10/2006 | Leave a Comment »
The writing is going well, as evidenced by the arse-shaped imprint in our extremely expensive leather sofa. Even though I expect the imprint to shrink with more cross training at Level 12, I’m considering a rotating seating plan
