Husband: Would you like to see a tsunami?
Me: Would I like to see . . . a . . . salami, did you say? Why, is it an unusual salami? Can it do tricks-
Husband: No, a TSUNAMI!
Me: Oh. Mm. Really? Ok. Oh actually – wait. Did you say ‘TSUNAMI!’? Hey! That would be AWESOME! To [...]
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
SALAMI!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged beach, bruce willis, comet, deep impact, drill, elijah wood, magic moment, megatsunami, mother nature, natural phenomenon, New Zealand, nuclear warhead, piha, queen mother, salami, samoa, sea, supersonic, tea leoni, tsunami, tsunami simon, wave on 08/10/2009 | Leave a Comment »
ROOWROOWROOWOOOWOOO!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged airline, carrier, curly coat retriever, domestic flight, dunedin airport, New Zealand, pacific blue, transporting pets on 01/04/2009 | 4 Comments »
Last week, we bought a pet crate from Trademe and I assembled it in the living room. I enticed The Jedster in with half a spider and a mouldy pig’s ear, and he took to napping in it during the day.
Contrary to my expectations, flying to Dunedin yesterday with a crate full of dog turned out to be a complex logistical [...]
Converting coffee allowance to dog biscuits
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged curly coat retriever, diet, eukanuba biscuits, parvovirus, puppy biscuits, vet, what to feed on 01/03/2009 | 4 Comments »
The second day after we got home, we took Jed to the vet. The Bee Gees was playing on the radio, and when I looked back at our puppy, I saw him give a little shimmy.
“Husband, look! Jed’s getting all funky with the Bee Gees. Do you think he’s gay?”
Whether he is or not, I was vaguely disturbed [...]
Oscillate wildly
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged back pocket, best lyrics, foliage, gladioli, Morrissey, sweet and tender hooligan, The Smiths, top of the pops, top smiths lyrics, unhappy birthday, vicar in a tutu on 27/01/2009 | 7 Comments »
Recently, I asked MarkJ if he was a fan of The Smiths. Since MarkJ is an appraiser of fine music, I was taken aback by his fairly conclusive if not borderline emphatic ‘no’.
Now, I myself got the wrong impression of The Smiths the first time I saw them on Top of the Pops, specifically Morrissey, [...]
The long way home
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged auckland, backpacker, bug biltong, bung, checked, core muscles, danish backpacker, doughnut, ex services, hanmer springs, havelock, hearing aid, hostel, imaginative stretch, interisland ferry, interislander, kit, leathers, long arm of the law, minihaha, motorbike gear, north island, police, queen charlotte drive, red wig, sequoia lodge, south island, speeding, sylvester stallone, third nipple, tubeless tyre plug, unpronounceable, whangamoa, yha on 14/01/2009 | Leave a Comment »
2300km later, we are home. We decided to take three days for the return bike trip: Oamaru to Hanmer Springs; then to Wellington via the Interisland Ferry; and the final stretch to Auckland.
Since I am now a seasoned biker, I was pretty confident. Leaning was second nature; I could crack walnuts with my core muscles; [...]
Dispatches from the road, Part II
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged bicycle, cocky, cyclists, fad, fashion, lycra, motorbike, motorcyclists, spandex on 11/01/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Me: You know that Irish bloke with the bike – the one I was chatting to outside? So, I asked him whether it was true that cyclists hate motorbikers-
Husband: IS that true?
Me: No, I was just making conversation with a challenging opening gambit. Anyway, he said not at all; but when he’s a pedestrian he [...]
The wedding: Róisín and Tim
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged adare, almitra, bitchy, bodice, bond of love, bouquet, bridesmaid, cause or just impediment, ceremony, chaste, cypress, dressmaker, flowers, goddess, grecian, hair and makeup, holy matrimony, hotel, kahlil gibran, marraige, marriage, nasdaq, not too near together, oak tree, pillars of the temple, radiant, rollers, roman catholic, service, sex, should not be joined, spaces in your togetherness, stand together, stylist, three dimensions, trinitarian church, wedding cake, wedding dress, wedding nerves, what of marriage, woodlands on 25/10/2008 | 3 Comments »
I don’t know why, but that’s what they will always be. Róisín and Tim. Never Tim and Róisín, which would be as abnormal as a river flowing uphill, or having sex after marriage.
The cake: photo for my mum, who had no interest in the happy couple whatsoever, but issued strict and specific instruction to return [...]
It’s Buckingham Palace, cretin
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged 99, 99 flake, 99s, bicycle, british, brits, buckingham palace, clapham, cycle shorts, cycling, embankment, freewheel, gladiator, houses of parliament, ice cream, london, london bridge, london eye, lycra, mountain bike, nelson's column, northumberland avenue, paul's, sights, sightseeing, sites, skysports, snug, the mall, tourism, tourist, tower of london, trafalgar square, victoria memorial, westminster, whitehall, wonder woman on 29/09/2008 | 1 Comment »
Victoria Memorial
Last Sunday, Tim and I participated in the London Freewheel, the second largest cycling event in Europe. It was one of those things I always considered doing when I lived in London, but never did. The centre of the city was closed to traffic from Buckingham Palace to the Tower of London.
Minor setback: I [...]
The Man From Snowy River
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged 1982, bedford row, eighties, film, grand central, horse, jim craig, kirk douglas, limerick, man from snowy river, movie, savoy, sigrid thornton, stallion, tom burlinson on 31/08/2008 | 7 Comments »
Since I touched on the subject of my childhood in the last post, I thought I would further explore the theme. Back in the days, Limerick had a cinema down Bedford Row and it was a dingy affair. The red armchairs had bald, sticky patches. A dusty velvet curtain featured an amazing ‘SWISH!’ effect. Instead of [...]
Herbert the Duck
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged duck shooting, herbert the duck, oamaru, south island on 04/05/2008 | 3 Comments »
Herbert was a happy little duck. He and his brothers and sisters paddled in the river, snapping at flies and dancing shadows.
Herbert liked sunshine, but he loved the rain. He and his brothers and sisters played with the raindrops and fished for minnows. They quacked and stuck their little ducky tails in the air.
One day, their mother [...]
Duck cemetary
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged abalone, autumn, blind, camouflage, camouflage suit, duck call, duck hunting, duck shooting, mai mai, mallard, oamaru, paua, retriever, rifle, shotgun, south island on 03/05/2008 | Leave a Comment »
[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES]
When I first met my Mother In Law and Stepfather In Law, they lived on top of a hill in Te Anau. Dusk was falling as Husband drove the rental car up the 70° driveway. We rounded a corner and there, silhouetted against the lowering sky, was a tractor with [...]
Responsibility
Posted in Hunka husband, Uncategorized, tagged bush, walker kauri track, walker kauri trail on 16/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
There have been a couple of times recently when we’ve left the house and forgotten to close the garage door behind us.
“Oh crap,” I said, driving home from our walk this afternoon. “Did we close the garage door?”
“I did,” said Husband.
“Oh, good.”
“If both of us are going out,” said my husband, “I think the passenger should [...]
Storms
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged lightening, north island, rain, shower, storm, thunder on 15/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
The view from our balcony this afternoon after a thunderstorm that lasted all day yesterday and today
Mr Wingo
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged prince of tides on 10/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Kiwi man uses hedgehog as a weapon
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged hedgehog, weapon on 07/04/2008 | 2 Comments »
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7334233.stm
You have to be taking the mickey to write:-
It was unclear whether the hedgehog was still alive when it was thrown, though it was dead when collected as evidence.
My life is awesome
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakthrough to success, christopher howard, deodorant, limiting beliefs, smellies, trapped in the wrong body on 06/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
‘Breakthrough to Success’ involved a number of exercises to practice the faith, reinforce The Message and obscure the fact that we spent three days covering material that would comfortably fit into half an hour.
One exercise involved identifying ‘limiting beliefs’ in your life. Afterwards, Guru Howard asked for volunteers to share their revelatory, life-altering breakthroughs. The [...]
I love this stuff! WOO!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakthrough to success, christopher howard, einstein, evangelical, fast track to success, passion for profits, performance revolution, religion, self belief on 05/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual
- Albert Einstein
Much of The Message preached by Breakthrough to Success was that, if you have enough self-belief, enough faith, if you WANT IT ENOUGH, all that you desire will be yours. Forget education and intellect, personality or circumstance.
Guru Howard [...]
Takapuna Beach, early morning
Posted in New Zealand, Weird, tagged auckland, north shore, takapuna on 04/04/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Deeply disturbing Kiwi advertising /2
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged advertising, kiwi, New Zealand, rockgas on 27/03/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Deeply disturbing Kiwi advertising /1
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged advertising, kiwi, New Zealand on 26/03/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Some of the slower moving and/or dead species
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged auckland, beryl, creepy crawlies, insects, mosquito, mosquitoes, mossies, New Zealand, pests, simon, spider on 17/03/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Wanky wanky shit bollox
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged all blacks, audi r8, bollox, eye test, land transport, left hand rule, mazda, mr2, New Zealand, project management, project manager, right hand rule, road code, shit, toyota, wanky on 06/03/2008 | Leave a Comment »
When we were sorting out the MR2 and the Mazda – which we are fostering for a while – the insurance company refused to cover me without a New Zealand driving licence.
It seems Kiwis are pretty relaxed about car insurance – amongst other things – and many only insure new cars. Allegedly 200,000 drivers [...]
NZS3112
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged electical, electronics, gadgets, NZS3112, plug, shipment on 05/03/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Our shipment arrived last week and we managed to get most of the 118 boxes unpacked the same day, although there are still a few left in the garage. It was very exciting:
“Husband, look what I found!”
“Er. A potato peeler?”
“I know! I CAN PEEL POTATOES!”
It was wonderful to have our stuff [...]
The Lament of Angus the Brawny
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged angus, bagpipes, classic, cricket, loch lomond, medley, scottish, tuis, youth band on 03/03/2008 | Leave a Comment »
A couple of days ago, I was sitting on the balcony on a citronella candle, enjoying the peace and serenity, when the harmony was annihilated by a sound like a cat being swung around by the whiskers.
“HUSBAND!” I roared up the stairs, where Husband was closeted in the cupboard off the bedroom which, at [...]
Bidding on waffle irons for the adrenaline rush
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breville, cafe, dehumidifier, espresso machine, kiwi, New Zealand, roma, trademe, waffle iron on 28/02/2008 | Leave a Comment »
Husband and I have both embraced Trademe, to the extent that I have been known to spend half a day bidding on waffle irons just for the adrenaline rush. What a fabulous site – although I’ve had an item listed for two weeks now and only one bid. Think I need to work on my [...]
