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Husband: Would you like to see a tsunami?
Me: Would I like to see . . . a . . . salami, did you say? Why, is it an unusual salami? Can it do tricks-
Husband: No, a TSUNAMI!
Me: Oh. Mm. Really? Ok. Oh actually – wait. Did you say ‘TSUNAMI!’? Hey! That would be AWESOME! To [...]

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Mother-In-Law has no clothes dryer and only one set of bed linen. Therefore, laundering the sheets is conditional on the weather.
She is specific about her requirements: light south westerly, bright sunshine, little to no cloud cover, 32+degrees, and a cast-iron guarantee that the given conditions will persist to late afternoon. She has to make her decision before 7am, because her washing [...]

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Last week, we bought a pet crate from Trademe and I assembled it in the living room. I enticed The Jedster in with half a spider and a mouldy pig’s ear, and he took to napping in it during the day.
Contrary to my expectations, flying to Dunedin yesterday with a crate full of dog turned out to be a complex logistical [...]

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The second day after we got home, we took Jed to the vet. The Bee Gees was playing on the radio, and when I looked back at our puppy, I saw him give a little shimmy.
“Husband, look! Jed’s getting all funky with the Bee Gees. Do you think he’s gay?”
Whether he is or not, I was vaguely disturbed [...]

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Jed’s new toy. No, it’s a dish scrubber, not a toilet brush.

Note: scrape marks pre-date Jed; made by Husband. Image taken milliseconds before he decided my camera would make for a much better toy.
At 16kg and 80cm long, Jed’s already a champion heavyweight. He didn’t fit Mother and Stepfather-In-Law’s wooden crate, which failed to meet Pacific Blue’s [...]

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Last Saturday week, Husband lost my walking boot.
There was room for doubt as to who was guilty of gross negligence, but I tricked Husband into a full confession.  No need for electrodes or a waterboard; I am a cunning and resourceful woman crammed full of my mother’s mother’s genes. Oh, he denies it now. But it is futile.
Now, [...]

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Recently, I asked MarkJ if he was a fan of The Smiths. Since MarkJ is an appraiser of fine music, I was taken aback by his fairly conclusive if not borderline emphatic ‘no’.
Now, I myself got the wrong impression of The Smiths the first time I saw them on Top of the Pops, specifically Morrissey, [...]

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2300km later, we are home. We decided to take three days for the return bike trip: Oamaru to Hanmer Springs; then to Wellington via the Interisland Ferry; and the final stretch to Auckland.
Since I am now a seasoned biker, I was pretty confident. Leaning was second nature; I could crack walnuts with my core muscles; [...]

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Me: You know that Irish bloke with the bike – the one I was chatting to outside? So, I asked him whether it was true that cyclists hate motorbikers-
Husband: IS that true?
Me: No, I was just making conversation with a challenging opening gambit. Anyway, he said not at all; but when he’s a pedestrian he [...]

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Me: I had the weirdest dream last night. I was at Obama’s inauguration and everyone was giving him presents – like cut crystal and antique guns with inscriptions, you know? I had something for him too, wrapped in white paper with a silver bow. But as I gave it to him, I realised it was [...]

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I don’t know why, but that’s what they will always be. Róisín and Tim. Never Tim and Róisín, which would be as abnormal as a river flowing uphill, or having sex after marriage.

The cake: photo for my mum, who had no interest in the happy couple whatsoever, but issued strict and specific instruction to return [...]

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Victoria Memorial
Last Sunday, Tim and I participated in the London Freewheel, the second largest cycling event in Europe. It was one of those things I always considered doing when I lived in London, but never did. The centre of the city was closed to traffic from Buckingham Palace to the Tower of London.
Minor setback: I [...]

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Since I touched on the subject of my childhood in the last post, I thought I would further explore the theme. Back in the days, Limerick had a cinema down Bedford Row and it was a dingy affair. The red armchairs had bald, sticky patches. A dusty velvet curtain featured an amazing ‘SWISH!’ effect. Instead of [...]

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Here are some pics from the orienteering event at Stag’s Roar last Sunday – photos courtesy Haze – thank you!

The Team: Haze, me and Husband - sweaty yet triumphant.  Rare image of Husband almost smiling.

Husband demonstrates his internal compass, thankfully with his arm. It looks as if I’m biting him, but I’m not.

Me, pushing in [...]

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Herbert was a happy little duck. He and his brothers and sisters paddled in the river, snapping at flies and dancing shadows.
Herbert liked sunshine, but he loved the rain. He and his brothers and sisters played with the raindrops and fished for minnows. They quacked and stuck their little ducky tails in the air.
One day, their mother [...]

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[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES]
When I first met my Mother In Law and Stepfather In Law, they lived on top of a hill in Te Anau. Dusk was falling as Husband drove the rental car up the 70° driveway. We rounded a corner and there, silhouetted against the lowering sky, was a tractor with [...]

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There have been a couple of times recently when we’ve left the house and forgotten to close the garage door behind us.
“Oh crap,” I said, driving home from our walk this afternoon. “Did we close the garage door?”
“I did,” said Husband.
“Oh, good.”
“If both of us are going out,” said my husband, “I think the passenger should [...]

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The view from our balcony this afternoon after a thunderstorm that lasted all day yesterday and today

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Mr Wingo

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7334233.stm
You have to be taking the mickey to write:-
It was unclear whether the hedgehog was still alive when it was thrown, though it was dead when collected as evidence.

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‘Breakthrough to Success’ involved a number of exercises to practice the faith, reinforce The Message and obscure the fact that we spent three days covering material that would comfortably fit into half an hour.
 
One exercise involved identifying ‘limiting beliefs’ in your life. Afterwards, Guru Howard asked for volunteers to share their revelatory, life-altering breakthroughs. The [...]

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All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual
- Albert Einstein
 
Much of The Message preached by Breakthrough to Success was that, if you have enough self-belief, enough faith, if you WANT IT ENOUGH, all that you desire will be yours. Forget education and intellect, personality or circumstance.
 
Guru Howard [...]

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Simon the spider

Dead Beryl

 Hwang Li

Mossie headbutting wet paint

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When we were sorting out the MR2 and the Mazda – which we are fostering for a while – the insurance company refused to cover me without a New Zealand driving licence.
It seems Kiwis are pretty relaxed about car insurance – amongst other things – and many only insure new cars. Allegedly 200,000 drivers [...]

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Our shipment arrived last week and we managed to get most of the 118 boxes unpacked the same day, although there are still a few left in the garage. It was very exciting:
“Husband, look what I found!”
“Er. A potato peeler?”
“I know! I CAN PEEL POTATOES!”
It was wonderful to have our stuff [...]

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A couple of days ago, I was sitting on the balcony on a citronella candle, enjoying the peace and serenity, when the harmony was annihilated by a sound like a cat being swung around by the whiskers.
“HUSBAND!” I roared up the stairs, where Husband was closeted in the cupboard off the bedroom which, at [...]

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Husband and I have both embraced Trademe, to the extent that I have been known to spend half a day bidding on waffle irons just for the adrenaline rush. What a fabulous site – although I’ve had an item listed for two weeks now and only one bid. Think I need to work on my [...]

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