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This morning, I woke Husband with a flea in his ear. However, he’s lucky I didn’t wake him up by killing him.

For a number of weeks that now qualifies as months, Husband has been booking his flight to Dubai/London. Or to be more accurate, not booking. I eventually cracked and bought my own tickets six weeks ago, when I tired of nagging Husband to confirm dates.

Whenever I remind him to book flights, he says, “Oh yes, I’ll do that later,” in the most pleasant of manners that ensures I’ll sound like a harridan if I tell him he’s been saying that SINCE THE VERY DAWN OF TIME with NO MEASURABLE OUTCOME OR EFFECT WHATSOEVER apart from DRIVING ME INSANE.

Despite being quite accomplished at it, I hate being a nag. I can barely stand the way I sound – heaven only knows how Husband can. These days I pick my battles. Husband’s lamb chops will sit leaking blood all over the kitchen counter rather than being put in the fridge and/or freezer by someone unnamed, because although one of us may end up with their head stuck down a toilet bowl, I’m pretty confident it won’t be me.

I’ve tried a number of different approaches: pleading, bribery, threats, food deprivation. Nothing works. Nothing. Nothing! In fact, if I ask for something more than three times, it results in a visible digging-in-of-heels effect, which ensures I would have better luck pushing a donkey up a hill.

Maybe he thinks, ‘Oh, Wife’s on the case so that’s going to get done,’ without taking into account his variable input into the equation. Or perhaps it’s a cunning plan to make me do it myself – which often works. Or he could be testing my mental health – in which case I’d like to know when I graduate.

So this morning, when I asked whether he’d booked his flight yesterday, and he said no, and THEN asked why didn’t I remind him, I carefully inserted aforementioned flea in his aural canal

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Comments on: "The dawn of time" (7)

  1. I’m not to scared to comment – no sireee !

    We are still speaking – right?
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. He was lucky it was his aural canal …

    Over here, he’d been called a steenezel. I have one myself. Translated, it’s stone donkey.

  3. deadlyjelly said:

    MarkJ – shouting at the very least.
    Di – HAHAHA! I’ll have to try it out on him.

    This post tickled Andrew. He said, ‘All these entries about how much you miss me blah blah blah, and a week later it’s business as usual.’

    To which I responded . . .
    ‘BOOK YOUR FUCKING FLIGHT OR DIE.’

  4. deadlyjelly said:

    Oh and in answer to your question, no he hasn’t

  5. I’m sure Andrew has everything under control.
    You worry too much… (he said from a safe distance)

    Anyway, isn’t this the exact reason why you married him? – the male Kiwi charm is potent indeed ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. deadlyjelly said:

    Isn’t ‘male Kiwi charm’ an oxymoron? It might even be more than one oxymoron, although I’d have to check

  7. I cant believe you fell for an oxymoron.
    Nope – smitten with the charm you were.
    Strong with the force, that one is ๐Ÿ™‚

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