The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

Being back in Dubai felt entirely surreal. It was unsettling arriving at the airport and not having a place of our own to go to. Raff and Carole donated their apartment on The Palm, which was tremendously comforting since we stayed there before leaving Dubai last year. The only thing missing was Raff and Carole.

Our flight landed at 05:30hrs. Carole had left the keys with Liz, but I felt it would be antisocial to collect them before 07:00. Liz seemed entirely dubious about our credentials. She gave me a personality test and I had to fill in a questionnaire, and even then she wasn’t convinced. Eventually, Husband distracted her while I robbed the house-keys.

Helen came around on Friday morning for a swim along the beach, and Em on Saturday. We also caught up with David, Wayne and Keren, and Mark and Sarah. There’s not much I miss about this place, but our friends top the list. Even though there are only two other things on that list (swimming in the Gulf and shower hoses on the toilets, in case you were wondering), friends represent about 99% on a weighted basis. It was fabulous seeing everyone again.

As bodily by-products go, I am a big fan of vomit and particularly like to bring it up over dinner. Not often literally, because that doesn’t go down well. However, my friends reminded me of a rare wee related experience.

Some years ago, Husband and I were on a desert drive with a group of friends. When the convoy paused for refreshment, I experienced a compelling urge to externally process some earlier refreshment. So I set off to find a private spot.

I tramped over dunes until I was out of earshot; then I hiked until I was beyond visual range; and then, because I am prudish, I trudged another few kilometers. I stumbled across the desert, under sand banks, over Wadis and through sandstorms. Eventually I found the perfect place in a dip between two sand dunes, shielded from gusty squalls and/or rogue camels.

Seconds later, I was busy composing a comprehensive response to the call of nature, when I heard a noise. I’m thinking:-

“What the-? That sounds like – no, it can’t be – but if I were pressed, I would have to say that sounded suspiciously like a car booting along at 180kph.”

I would have continued to assume it was the aural equivalent of a mirage, except that it seemed to be getting louder.

Then three 4x4s thundered past at 180kph, at which point I realised I was crouched next to a stonking great six lane highway waving my arse in the air

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Comments on: "Trip down sandy lane" (8)

  1. How friendly! I hope your arse smiled.

  2. Raffy said:

    What the @#$%^. Here I am 6.30 in the morn about to get ready to set off for heathrow to return to dubai and me thinks I will browse t’internet. I start by searching for “how to fit my new pannier rack to the ktm”. first mush to come up is yours?

    nice to see ya to see ya nice

  3. deadlyjelly said:

    V-Grrrl, sometimes I wonder whether I’m a touch over-familiar at times 😀

    RAFF! Admit it: you searched on ‘sexy spank arse’, didn’t you? Re KTM panniers, if you weren’t looking for porn on the Internet, I’d worry you were turning into a geek. Ask Husband about the pannier rack, I’m sure he can sort you out. If not, he’ll make you a new bike out of printer cartridges and dessert spoon heads

  4. That is such an exaggeration, I know the place and it is only a 4 lane highway.

    The Road

  5. Just laughter, lots of it …

    It’s up there with having a private pee on top of a mountain just climbed and mid-stream a helicopter full of tourists fly over and circle.

    I was told the story.
    True dinks!

  6. These are the moments that define us Niamh.
    I will never see you the same way again.
    But in a good way.

  7. Loved hearing about your time in Dubai. I lived in Doha for a short time and loved it. Ten years in Dubai, you must have seen heaps of changes. I am looking at heading back soon. I miss the people, the culture, not the dust!
    As I see others saying, you write really well, something to aspire to 🙂
    Jules

  8. Hi Julie, great to see you here! When I first arrived in Dubai, nobody had really heard of it. The expat community was small and comprised mostly of adventurers. It was a real privilege to watch it grow – or ‘explode’ might be a better word – but it turned into the sort of place I no longer wanted to be.

    That said, I met my husband there, and we made tremendous friends that I still miss every day. I also get chronically nostalgic for early morning swims along the beach, and desert drives

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