The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

But you would not believe how much shite I had to wade through to uncover these nuggets. It appears that, during my teenage years, my parents were engaged in a conspiracy to ruin my life. I think it best not declassify this information during my lifetime.

Holiday in Wales, aged 16 – 1988
I was severely depressed, and headed outside to have a good yowl and perhaps throw myself under a truck

All my love to your parents and your brother (well, I don’t really know him)

I’ve thrown in a few postcards for you, and a duck brooch

If you see Sarah give her my love, I suppose

UCD, aged 18 – 24 November 1990
<Unintentionally and regrettably hilarious. Confirmation that I was a Loser> I know four or five second years, and two fifth years actually started talking to me on Friday! Believe it or not! They’re selling me books

PS – Did you see ‘Ghost’? Shit, wasn’t it

PPS – Hope everything is going well. I was too busy waffling about myself to ask earlier in the letter

From UL, aged 19 – 5 November 1991
PS – Those things after my name are kisses, not swastikas


Comments on: "More from the archives" (4)

  1. So Ghost being shit, as in shite or as in being really good – like sick?
    Young peoples vernacular today can be tricky…. just interested to get some clarification….

    P.S. Thought the bit at the end where Patrick danced with Whoopi was a bit naff – not to mention just plain icky (if you stop to think about it)… but the scene with Demi and Patrick and the potter’s wheel still makes me laugh hysterically.

    So – Ghost – Not full sick – right?

  2. MarkJ, apologies for any confusion. Eighteen years ago, Ghost was shit. Pure distilled shit with bits of sweetcorn and no other redeeming features at all.

    The director tried to pass it off as poignant, but Patrick’s turn with Whoopi was essentially gratuitous lesbianism – or sick, as you might prefer.

    The potter’s wheel scene was the precursor to a whole genre of people throwing flour at each other, which always makes me feel slightly ill. Don’t these people know that when flour is mixed with water, you’ll never get it off kitchen surfaces? Ooh *shudder*

  3. Oh yes – great to see we’re on the same page here.

    Hope you thought the same thing about the “food” scene in 9 1/2 weeks – oh… and the shower scene with Sharon Stone and Stallone in “The Specialist”… Thank God gratuitous sex scenes are no longer such pivotal parts in the movies. Well the movies I like anyway 🙂

    Yours faithfully


  4. Prudence …

    Shaking my head in short sharp bursts to get Mark as Prudence out of my head.
    Ouch … just ouch

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