The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

Whenever Husband wants to coax me out of the house, he goes down to the garage, starts up the car – either will do – and revs the engine. The garage is one level down, so the living room floor thrums at 2000 rpm. At 2500 rpm, pictures start falling off the mantelpiece. I worry about structural integrity of the house at 3000.

It is an inspired twist on sitting in the car beeping the horn. Not only is it more passive-aggressive, the strategy works on several levels: if I am not irritated into action or shaken out of the house, I will eventually be smoked out. (I’ve never caught him at it, but I’m pretty sure Husband backs up the car and vacuum-seals the exhaust pipe to the door connecting garage to house.)

This morning, I was ready before Husband for a change. After balancing the picture frames on the edge of the mantelpiece, I popped down to the garage for a spot of energetic revving.

Only to find that Husband had stolen my keys.

He is a devious man


Comments on: "Tactical manoeuvres" (10)

  1. A little delighted chortle from over here in cold and wintery Belgie.

  2. Hmmm.
    I’m just wondering why you werent in the kitchen making margarita’s like a good wife πŸ™‚

  3. deadlyjelly said:

    Well, that’s what I’m doing when Andrew’s sitting in the car revving

  4. Butt when do we get the latest report on your latest travel adventure Ms Shaw?
    I’d love to spill the beans and get to the bottom of this story, but live in fear of making an arse of myself in the process.

    Nuff said…. for now…

  5. deadlyjelly said:

    BIG post later today . . . or maybe tomorrow, depending on how much mulled wine ends up down my gullet.

    Do you know, I got 75+ hits over yesterday and today, because some guy linked to
    from a BBC discussion board πŸ˜€

  6. So, no post huh – obviously much mulled wine past the tonsils then eh – excellent πŸ™‚

    Glad you got there safe and sound – although I think you’re both nuts !

  7. deadlyjelly said:

    You are SO IMPATIENT!

  8. Your point being?????

  9. She’s trying to buy time, you plonker …

    Happy christmas to those of you already immersed in it! We’re still waiting up in the north.

  10. […] to boil an egg, but I find that sitting on the loo is an extremely defensible position. Andrew has been known to rev the car in the garage, but thankfully these days he does a spot of motorbike maintenance […]

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