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The second day after we got home, we took Jed to the vet. The Bee Gees was playing on the radio, and when I looked back at our puppy, I saw him give a little shimmy.

“Husband, look! Jed’s getting all funky with the Bee Gees. Do you think he’s gay?”

Whether he is or not, I was vaguely disturbed by how little Jed objected to having a thermometer stuck up his arse.

Garry the vet adopted a gunfighting stance and cocked his fingers at us. “I’m a straight talker,” he said, superfluously. “I HATE what you’re feeding him. Large breed like this, prone to all sorts of joint problems. Vital he gets proper protein and nutrients.”

By which Garry meant feeding him a restricted diet of puppy biscuits. By the time he had finished his pitch, I considered it a miracle that dogs are not an endangered species, having been forced to endure a diet of raw meat before the availability of a balanced, nutritious supply of dog biscuits.

“Do you get commission on these?” I asked Garry, shortly before handing over $140 for 15kg of Eukanuba puppy biscuits. “I mean, let’s talk percentages.”

Garry refused to talk commission or percentages. If you didn’t catch the sarcasm (and despite spending our coffee allowance on dog biscuits) I am still entirely skeptical about the merits of feeding a dog dehydrated biscuits instead of meat.

Jed’s adult teeth have not yet appeared, so Garry reckons he is younger than 16 weeks. He made me feel like an irresponsible dog owner for not having Jed up to date on his shots (The Outlaws took him for his first parvovirus vaccine the day after they collected him).

Apparently parvovirus – often fatal, especially to puppies immature immune systems – is rife in Waitakere, so until Jed gets his booster shot on 16/3, he is under house arrest

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Comments on: "Converting coffee allowance to dog biscuits" (4)

  1. First, I should mention that despite my name, I am in no way qualified to offer health advice for any kind of critter…

    Having said that: did he say what, specifically, Jed wasn’t getting from his previous diet?

    If you don’t want to enrich the vet, you can buy Eukanuba directly from a couple of places on the North Shore. See their website for details.

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    Hiya Vet, I figured you weren’t an animal doctor, but wouldn’t have pushed a free consult even if you were!

    Garry didn’t say what Jed wasn’t getting from his diet. I want to feed our pooch as well as possible within budgetary reason, so researched dog food diets. Mindful of the fact that Jed was on a full meat binge in South Island, I thought a raw food diet with 60% meat + bones, 10% organ meat + 30% vegetable/other would be sound. This was the diet Garry ‘hated’.

    I have since researched Eukanuba biscuits and, while it is possibly the best dog biscuit NZ has to offer, it does not appear to be nutritionally sound (see http://www.dogfoodanalysis.com, amongst other sources).

    Packaged dog foods don’t list percentage ingredients, so it is difficult to assess nutritional value. However, I am naturally skeptical of any industry that makes so much money out of people that adore their pets and watch too much telly. And a dog can’t come back at you and say, “Dude, this tastes like shit”.

    That said, Jed appears to be voting with his feet . . . stay tuned for my next post 😀

  3. Interestingly enough … says I anyway, my Golden Lab lived till 16 and was incredibly healthy on Tux dog biscuits and roast sheep shanks sometimes. Of course, she had a bit of this and a bit of that but those Tux biscuits impressed the hell out of her and me 🙂

  4. Ummm, not that I ate them though.

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