The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

Me: I was walking The Jedster today and doing the heel with lots of positive affirmation* and this woman passed by with a golden retriever, and she gave me this LOOK, you know, like she was judging me. And I wouldn’t have minded except that her dog was UNBELIEVABLY badly behaved, plunging around on his lead and not sitting and stuff.

Husband: Jesus. What was her problem?

Me: Hard to know, but she was totally minging one way or another.

Husband: I know – you should blacklist her!

Me: From what? Oh, hey! I could blacklist her from my life! FOREVER! NO REPRIEVE! NO REMORSE!

Husband: Wow, you’re cold.

Me: Well, I can be when circumstances warrant it.

* Note: this is a variation on the Snarfy Snuggle Monster riff, delivered at a pitch only Jed and overhead bats can hear, usually on the occasion of him taking a wizz any place other than my carpet, or collapsing on the ground five minutes after I tell him to sit for the fourth time


See? My dog totally sits.


Comments on: "When circumstances warrant" (6)

  1. Hi Niamh,

    Am loving the posts about Jed, especially as I’m currently reading the manuscript of “Smart Casual”. I am curious to know whether you’ll be getting more pets and naming them after your characters?!

    &… xxx

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    Hi there – great to see you here! Delighted you’re enjoying the posts about Jedster aka Mini Bear. Mind you, Husband lodged a recent complaint about the canine-centric quality of my recent posts so he might feature less in the future. Husband, that is 😀

  3. He is beautiful here. I’m a wee bit scared about purchase of doggy soulmate after the Berlin stint. I only want a clever one … sigh.

    In Belgium, when they don’t understand English sometimes, they give you the fiercest meanest nastiest looks and I thought it was me but it’s them, feeling crap about themselves. I think that’s her issue, you might just need to reach out and pass her a ‘how to train your naughty dog’ manual next time you pass on the track 😉

  4. deadlyjelly said:

    . . . or, alternatively, shoot her.

    I have to say, I completely underestimated the responsibility involved in taking care of a dog. At the same time, I can’t imagine not having Jed in my life and cannot figure out why we waited so long. I’m pretty sure you will love your dog regardless of his IQ 😉


  5. Well, there is the shooting option but based on occasionally dipping into the New Zealand Herald, I say, why be like everyone else?

    As for dog IQ. Sandie-dog was a legend, Ellie dog was a little more scatter-brained. Sandie and I were soul-mates, we bonded while I lay all but lifeless, wasting away with glandular fever. That clever little puppy just kept me company. Sigh, I miss that dog of mine.

  6. deadlyjelly said:

    The Jedster is my first dog, and already I imagine there will be no other dog like him. And indeed, there probably won’t, but there will be dogs with their own quirks and foibles and unique personalities. I’m sure you’ll be lucky enough to find one of them 😀


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