Husband: You know parents who bang on about their kids all the time?
Me: Yes- GOD! Isn’t it SO ANNOYING! I mean, it’s one thing having to listen to endless examples of how intelligent and disproportionately advanced their little crotchfruit is, but when they move on to back end performance and hemmorhoids – GAK!
Husband: Worse if it’s a dog they’re on about.
Me: You are SO RIGHT!
Husband: <waits for penny to drop>
Me: You feel like saying, ‘DUDE. It’s a freakin DOG. GET A LIFE. And, you know, a hobby or two.’
Husband: <he is a patient man>
Me: Hey- wait a minute- you- you don’t mean ME, do you?
Me: <outraged> I don’t go on about Jed ALL THE TIME!
Husband: 99.9% is a high proportion