The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

Husband: You know parents who bang on about their kids all the time?

Me: Yes- GOD! Isn’t it SO ANNOYING! I mean, it’s one thing having to listen to endless examples of how intelligent and disproportionately advanced their little crotchfruit is, but when they move on to back end performance and hemmorhoids – GAK!

Husband: Worse if it’s a dog they’re on about.

Me: You are SO RIGHT!

Husband: <waits for penny to drop>

Me: You feel like saying, ‘DUDE. It’s a freakin DOG. GET A LIFE. And, you know, a hobby or two.’

Husband: <he is a patient man>

Me: Hey- wait a minute- you- you don’t mean ME, do you?

Husband: <shrugs>

Me: <outraged> I don’t go on about Jed ALL THE TIME!

Husband: 99.9% is a high proportion

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Comments on: "I might take up emetology, or collect rusty metal things" (12)

  1. I had to look up ’emetology’, but now that I know – and speaking purely for myself – I’d much rather read about Jed.

    Or practically anything else for that matter.

  2. Mobilemark said:

    At least Jed hasnt got a meta tag yet ! 🙂

  3. Sean said:

    Well at least it’s a cute dog, and you haven’t gone all ga-ga over one of those Paris Hilton dressed-up rat like creatures!

  4. deadlyjelly said:

    Vet: in fact, you may be surprised to learn that Jed inspired me to consider emetology as a hobby.

    Mobilemark: oh, just you wait.

    Sean: aw! Thank you for your understanding. There was never much fear of going ga-ga over a chihuahua (actually, if you say it phonetically, chihuahua sounds a bit like retching doesn’t it?); small dogs – with the possible exception of a bark-impaired Jack Russell – don’t do much for us. We are so thrilled with Jed: he is a real dog. He sniffs his ass regularly, can spend hours licking his non-existant balls and savages spiders

  5. Sean said:

    Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
    A: Because they can!

  6. deadlyjelly said:

    Some jokes never go stale; rather they mature with age like a fine wine or Demi Moore.

    Not sure that’s one of those 😀

  7. Your husband … so now he’s telling what you can and can’t talk about on your BLOG???? I am outraged on your behalf. I guess it doesn’t help that I’m reading backwards and haven’t yet reached your hardcore Jed talk but I was thinking, is he not a wee bit jealous of you shining your love light on Jed as opposed to the usual hunka hubby stuff?

    Bears thinking about …
    Just saying.

  8. deadlyjelly said:

    Di, maybe you’re right! He’s just jealous that I no longer blog about him! It is all so obvious! Why did I not see it before? 😀

    x

  9. Well, you know you love him so how could you imagine he’s got a wee bit of dog envy going on. He’ll come round once he understands that no creature can replace him … well, not unless he’s Brad Pitt, Johny Depp or someone with pots of money who simply wants all that is best for you.

  10. deadlyjelly said:

    Exactly! And once Husband has pots of money, no creature really could replace him 😀

    x

  11. All but gurgling with laughter … as long as he knows that, I’m sure he’ll settle down and stop this rivalry with the little Jed creature.

    Dragging my sorry self off to a midnight bed. I loved catching up with you though …I mustn’t disappear for so long again. I missed you.
    xo

  12. deadlyjelly said:

    I’ve missed you too darlin – and enjoyed our comment tag. Have a good sleep, tara for now my friend.

    x

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