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According to Amazon and my publishers, Little Black Dress, Smart/Casual came out on 2 April.

The Outlaws threw a launch party to compensate for Husband not being present to take me out for dinner. Had he been around, Husband would more likely have celebrated the grand occasion by hacking into Amazon’s website to see how many copies had been sold, and maybe agreeing to watch an episode of House instead of Top Gear. However, I was touched by Mother-In-Law’s high opinion of her progeny.

Despite the secret cake, candles and high levels of literary expectation, it was all a bit of an anticlimax. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but the cake was slightly undercooked in the middle.

However, the main reason was the notable absence of the book. The Little Black Dress website stated Smart/Casual was ‘coming next month’, and instead of listing it as ‘This title has not yet been released’, it was ‘out of stock’ on Amazon.

We had to substitute a copy of New Zealand Tractors Weekly, but it was slightly less interesting and not as fictional. I offered to show The Outlaws the 879Kb Word document of the final manuscript on my laptop, but nobody seemed to feel that would really capture the moment


Comments on: "Tractors Weekly: poor substitute" (14)

  1. solartap said:

    Yeah, what is happening over at LBD? I ordered my copy last year and i expected to have it around now but all i can see is that damn “out of stock” message. Personally, I don’t think they have received any stock yet and so they should have a message stating “still a virgin as far as stock goes”.

    If they have had stock but given them out to hangers-on or other “come along latelies”, then i am aggrieved and may go over to a bookshop ( i won’t say which one) and kick over the LBD stand.

    Possible Spoiler Alert

    Wooo Wooo Wooo (Sirens)

    Funny thing: i was thinking about your book cover and whether or not it was appropriate as the heroine does not actually have a dog. Well, my thoughts ran as follows: who would the metaphysical dog be? I figured it would have to be the “constant friend” Jed and with your dog being named Jed, that kinda makes sense.

  2. solartap said:

    Is it just me or does anyone else think of Light Bondage & Domination when they see the letters LBD?

    I know what you will say Niamhy but remember i have seen you in leathers and boots!

  3. Solartap:

    When you first mentioned Niamh, leathers and boots in the same sentence, I immediately thought the worst/best, before realising you were only talking about the motorcycle garb.

    For just a microsecond there my thoughts were of a dominatrix Niamh; immediately after, burning hot tea flew out my nose.

    My scalded nostrils salute you !

  4. deadlyjelly said:

    Solartap, interesting theory about the metaphysical dog. I like to think Snoggy Dog aka Puppydum aka The Jedster made it onto the cover of Smart/Casual before he was ever conceived. Although, the cover model looks like some sort of spaniel.

    MarkJ, I would like to point out that Solartap has never seen Dominatrix Niamh; and the only time he glimpsed Bondage Niamh the light was really poor and I doubt he saw much at all


  5. First things first: congratulations! I shall certainly look for it on my next visit to Borders, although if you must publish it on the far side of the world, I won’t pin my hopes too high.

    But more importantly, since when does House clash with Top Gear?

  6. syppost said:

    Niamh, congratulations! This is fantastic. I see it up there on

    Also, your blog cracks me up.

    Also, I accidentally deleted a comment from you this morning, along with 1200 Viagra ads.

  7. McSpluf said:

    Amazon ‘tell’ me that I don’t have long more to wait:

    “Not Yet Dispatched:1 item – delivery estimate: 17 April 2009 – 29 April 2009”.

    🙂 Adiós

  8. Deane said:


    Weird that your book is out of stock everywhere. I just got my copy yesterday! I just started reading, and so far I think its hilariously funny and I just stopped reading to check out you blog because I was curious 🙂

    // Deane

  9. deadlyjelly said:

    Vet: we operate a weighted priority system for watching tv series. Unfortunately, Husband weighs more than me 🙂

    Dervala: great to hear from you! Was gutted to be thrown out with the Viagra ads on your blog, but left a comment yesterday and it seemed to make the cut.


  10. deadlyjelly said:

    McSpluf: not sure what’s going on with Amazon deliveries. Friends and family – bless ’em – pre-ordered the book months ago, but nobody has received it yet . . .

    Deane: as far as I am aware, you are the first person in the world to have a copy of my book 😀 So pleased you’re enjoying it, and felt tickled enough to leave a comment!


  11. McSpluf said:

    I pre-ordered it months ago too and now they tell me it should arrive between the 17th and 29th. ?


  12. Deane said:

    Well, I’m honored to be so privileged! I live in Sweden and I didn’t buy it from amazon.
    I’m half-way through your book now, and I only stopped because boyfriend demanded some attention 😀


  13. deadlyjelly said:

    Ah, McD! I thought it was you. Rois says her copy is due to arrive between 17/29th as well. What’s going on with Amazon?

    Deane – my mum would like to know where you bought your copy? I don’t even have one myself 😀

  14. Deane said:

    I bought it here in Sweden, on It’s a swedish internet bookstore, I have no idea if they ship outside of Sweden 😦

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