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At New World Supermarket in Oamaru today, I stood in line behind a man emitting a subtle aroma of beer-marinated nicotine. He was attempting to procure two six packs of beer, but appeared confused by the transactionary nature of the exchange.

Him: This <EXPLETIVE RHYMING WITH ‘MUNT’ APPLIED AS AN ACTIVE VERB DELETED> <EXPLETIVE DELETED>ing government.

Me: Um.

Him: I mean, they <EXPLETIVE DELETED> you in the ASS – half of this is <EXPLETIVE DELETED> tax.

Me: Ok then.

I don’t think it’s any secret that I’m a passionate fan of appropriate swearing. However, I was so shocked by this man’s language I dropped a packet of frozen peas.

After he had shambled off to process his beer before dinner:-

Me (to checkout assistant): Oh my god!

Checkout assistant: He wasn’t very happy.

Me: You think? He used words I didn’t know existed. Or maybe I’ve just had a sheltered upbringing-

Checkout assistant, with indulgent chuckle: Ooh, I think you have, dearie.

Me: ARE YOU <EXPLETIVE DELETED> SHITTING ME?!

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Comments on: "Oamaru – local dialect" (2)

  1. Hmmm… actually, now you mention it, all this time I’ve known you, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you swear…

    What a prude!

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    Oh, I’ve been known to exhibit symptoms of acute prudishness. Once my lips actually disappeared. It was only temporary but kissing was problematic for a few weeks.

    x

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