The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

Used bobcats

For the last couple of months, Deadlyjelly’s stats has averaged around 70 visits per day. I’m not sure why traffic hasn’t increased exponentially since my blog’s inception. Perhaps it’s because I don’t trawl the Internet making comments on other peoples’ websites. Maybe I need to increase the application of swearwords, or include more videos of me taking my clothes off.

Looking on the bright side: hadΒ my hits increased exponentially, the Internet would probably have blown up. So from that perspective, it’s a good thing.

A couple of days ago, the post Tractors Weekly: poor substitute attracted the following post:-

Long time lurker but felt moved to comment by this excellent post. Keep up the good work!

Now, I am a total sucker for flattery no matter how deficient of substance, but I was surprised that particular post had moved someone to express themselves. It poked some fun at my mother-in-law, which – although always entertaining although probably more for me than anyone else – is a cheap shot. Really, outside that highlight, the padding was relatively lacklustre. I didn’t feel it was my best effort.

At the same time, there’s no accounting for taste – or, for that matter, freakishness – so I spent considerable time crafting a response that was warm but not gushing, gracious without sounding needy, and grateful whilst editing out hints of desperation.

It was only after IΒ responded that I looked at the poster’s username: ‘used_bobcats’.

Unusual, I thought.



Then I followed the link and, er, it was a website selling – what d’you know? -used bobcats.

My official reason for deleting both comments is not my ingenuous response, but because Used Bobcats is not getting any referrals from me so there


Comments on: "Used bobcats" (18)

  1. deadlyjelly said:

    Mark, whilst it made me laugh, yet I deleted your comment because I shall not allow swearing on my website. It is uncouth and improper. You should know better.



  2. How about Used Ptarmigans then?

  3. Delurking to say great post. Keep up the good work.

  4. deadlyjelly said:

    Forest Green: that’s better. You look good with a civil tongue in your head πŸ˜€

    Lesley: nice to meet you! You don’t sell used bobcats, by any chance? πŸ˜€


  5. Oh gods, comment spam is almost worse than regular spam. I move that used_bobcats should be frisked for weapons, then coated with barbecue sauce and shoved into a sealed enclosure with the hungry relatives of those poor creatures s/he has been (ab)using.

  6. deadlyjelly said:

    Vet: wow, you’re hard. And a bit scary. Are you, um, familiar with this line of business? πŸ™‚


  7. Censorship rules !

    Just hope this post makes it through….. πŸ™‚

  8. and I stand by my “stands with fist” nickname for you πŸ™‚

  9. deadlyjelly said:

    Hata, Glasshoppa!


  10. solartap said:

    See, that’s what happens when you get published: you start censoring the off-colour posts in order to make sure you are not upsetting a wider (and dare i say blander) demo. You know where this leads, don’t you?

    You become custard!

    (So, the backlash begins – it is only a matter of time till we get to Godwin’s law.)


  11. deadlyjelly said:

    It’s not censorship, it’s more the following of a guideline. And if you don’t follow it, you will be punished. I start with removing your comment, and move on to . . . well. Let’s hope you never find out πŸ˜€


  12. solartap said:

    “punished” mmmmm… saucy πŸ˜›

  13. deadlyjelly said:

    Punished SEVERELY


  14. cianor said:

    Now I am suffering from palpitations.. .. So here is my deal. Found your blog months ago and read the lot as it was too funny. Last week I decided to check it out for updates.

    Of course I have never posted/commented (at least I do not remember) because I felt like a stalker, but I did not want it to be known that I was stalker (so why am I posting now?)

    I was no where near your blog on the 7th of April. But you are making me feel guilty – and the reason being is that I work for Bobcat (not Used ones mind you..)

    So now i feel like a dirty stalker….. ….. honest it was not me..

    p.s. I am not a lurker – that just makes me think of long brown coats with pockets….

    p.p.s. Why do the Irish do guilt so well

  15. deadlyjelly said:

    Hello Cianor! I’m always delighted to meet people who read the blog. If it makes you feel any better, my family never comment on Deadlyjelly either. Mind you, they’re a pretty dodgy lot and I’m not sure you want to draw any further comparisons.

    p.s. I’m so pleased you have embraced stalking, and I’m sure you will have hours of fun πŸ˜€

    p.p.s. I think guilt is included in the swearing gene


  16. cianor said:

    Well now I shall suffer from guilt no more. I found the appropriate antidote on whereby Smart Casual just happened to fall into my basket and credit card details were exchanged.

    About the stalking – was thinking of having a restraining order against the rest of the world (but really the rest of the world would need one against me). Not sure how bf would feel about that though.. .. but now that I have ordered the book, I feel like I am stalking again – stalking into the world of chic lit, me being a chic lit vir%$n ‘n’ all (better not swear and get banned). Then again I have read lots of Janet Evanovich, so I may not be as pure as I think.

    p.s. not sure your family would want to be compared to me either. Originally from Cork (living in Dublin, wanting to live in Melbourne), and the only time Limerick and Cork bed together is when Munster are playing Rugby and there is still rivalry then anyway…

    – Cian

  17. deadlyjelly said:

    Well, I am just flattered that when Smart Casual fell into your shopping basket, you didn’t leave it at the checkout with the rotten tomatoes πŸ˜€

    Can’t believe you’re a chick-lit virgin :-O I’m not a virgin myself, but I still have the box it came in πŸ˜› I just hope your first experience is a good one – I’ll have my fingers crossed for you. Tip: alcohol might help.

    Love your name, by the way.


  18. cianor said:

    I remember your previous posts on pronouncing New Zealand place names. Well I think our names are there just to confuse people (Our parents must be oh so proud). I often explain the fact that Irish does not have the letter β€˜k’, so pretend my name starts with a K and not a C. But thinking about Niamh – that must get some great pronunciations!

    But my proudest achievement today has to be the fact that I got my pic to show instead of the Purple Sick Face (although it was fairly apt). The rest of the day at work will be downhill from here I fear…

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