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Mother-In-Law has no clothes dryer and only one set of bed linen. Therefore, laundering the sheets is conditional on the weather.

She is specific about her requirements: light south westerly, bright sunshine, little to no cloud cover, 32+degrees, and a cast-iron guarantee that the given conditions will persist to late afternoon. She has to make her decision before 7am, because her washing machine takes about five hours for a cycle due to low water pressure.

I suppose she must wash her sheets about once a year.

In Oamaru yesterday, I passed a shop with a bargain bin full of bedlinen. Standing out amidst a truly startling selection of blood-quickening bedwear, was a set of royal-blue satin queen-sized bedsheets.

Did I mention they were satin?

They were.


However, the more I thought about it, the more I realised with a certainty and conviction atypical for me, that royal-blue satin queen-sized bedsheets were the only possible way to express my keen appreciation and gratitude to the Outlaws for putting me up for the last x months weeks.

I took the sheets – secured with a matching satin ribbon – inside to pay.

“Aren’t they LOVELY?” enquired the saleswoman.

“Um,” I mumbled, humbled by her sincerity. “What, the sheets? Er, yes! Yes, indeed.”

“Was it the colour that caught your eye?”

“Oh yes, it really stood out,” I said, grabbing my purchase and making a run for it.

I called into a newsagents a few doors down to see if I could buy some matching wrapping paper. There was nothing bright enough – but I got something else.

“Is there any chance I could wrap this here?” I asked, reluctantly setting the sheets on the counter.

“Oh, my! Aren’t those GORGEOUS?” breathed the saleswoman.

I can only conclude the good denizens of Oamaru all sleep on bright blue satin sheets – or at least aspire to it


Comments on: "Nocturnal habits of North Otago" (5)

  1. solartap said:

    See, that’s what happens when you get published: you start demanding bright blue satin sheets in order to make sure you are getting your due. You know where this leads, don’t you?

    You become Elton John!

    (Yes, i am aware of the fact that my humour does not translate to human!)


  2. deadlyjelly said:

    I did not demand blue satin sheets, it was more insisting.

    I am not Elton John.

    Maybe in my next life.


  3. I just read my way quite some distance through your blog, playing catch-up, chortling quietly as I read … as usual 🙂

    Lovely lovely posts. Will read the rest later. Must work … bleh

  4. to-ma-toe – toe-mate-oh 🙂

  5. deadlyjelly said:

    Hi Di – great to hear from you! See you’re still travelling around the place, am loving your photos.

    Mark – what are you trying to say? Spit it out 😀


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