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After the drive home last weekend, I arrived back in Auckland with a surfeit of creative energy. My synapses were firing on all cylinders, and a few I didn’t even know I had.

I didn’t know what I would do with it all – maybe write a blog post! Or several! Finish another book! Take up oil painting! Or performance art with startling application of fish!

Unaccountably, I decided to channel this energy into defrosting the fridge. I’m not sure why. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

You could argue that, under the circumstances, defrosting a fridge was an exceptionally creative action. Following a six-hour drive from Turangi, it was certainly unexpected. And, like any creative endeavor of great genius, its inherent explicability emerges the more one considers it (the fridge, after all, was empty but for the glacier burgeoning out of the fan).

Unfortunately, I had forgotten the time commitment involved in hacking through three feet of ice; the energy required to hold back the raging flood that threatened to swamp the kitchen; the emotional toll in discovering long-forgotten iced-in jam-jars, their ghastly entrails speaking of horrible ends.

The work is called ‘Fridge Liberated of Frost’.

I am open to sensible offers from The Tate.

[Note to Tate: please don’t insult me with anything less than six figures or more. For example, seven, eight etc.]

Prior to commencing this four-hour project, the conflagration of creativity threatened to incinerate me and everything in my immediate presence. Turns out defrosting the fridge effectively addressed that concern.


Comments on: "Fridge Liberated of Frost" (9)

  1. First, welcome back.

    Second, congratulations on channelling your overflowing raw creative energy into something so useful. I’m sure your investment of time will give you many happy hours in the future, as you enjoy your liberated fridge.

  2. Cian said:

    I would love to see this as an installation up for the Turner Prize. But you have to be British for that. So instead go for Tate Modern. Actually I have a better idea – the Saatchi Gallery!!! They would love you and I think that you could be in luck there.

    That reminds me last time I was in Iceland I saw a series of paintings and the red colour was blood – but not just any blood – the arist was a female!!! Not that I would compare your masterpiece with hers, but I think that the ‘Ice’ theme of your work would fit in with Iceland. Maybe you could have the Supermarket chain provide sponsorship too. Perhaps even in the future they can exclusively stock your new book – “The Art of Defrosting” (checked Amazon – it does not exist).

    I am thinking Iceland is the way to go – I would be afraid that Nigella might steal the book deal if you went the Saatchi route. Then there would be the tv series and the child prostitution that goes along with it. Of course then Delia would follow suit – “Simple Freezer Defrosting”. Look what you could unleash on the world.

    In the meantime – maybe next time you could build a snow(wo)man – or for other artistic inspiration –

    Think of the endless hours of fun. I am off to deface my freezer right now…

  3. deadlyjelly said:

    Cian, WHERE do you find these things? And please tell me the snowman’s hands are not constructed of earwax?


  4. Cian said:

    Google can just about find anything… I never noticed the hands – I am just hoping that they were something else, but given the people of the world today who knows.

    So now you shall be pleased that Husband brought home the MIG Welder because you can go welding on the Freezer Door. No nuts and bolts for you – You can do it really professionally now. Can’t wait for you the post the pictures!

  5. deadlyjelly said:

    Well, Husband mutters a lot about ‘practicing’ with his MIG welder, so I can only imagine what that entails. He’s not that creative – except when it comes to excuses for staying in bed in the morning – so he might have to work up to freezer art.


  6. solartap said:

    I think Cian’s suggestion that your next book should be called “The Art of Defrosting” is an excellent one. Other possible alternates include:

    .. Defrosting: A Love Story

    .. My Mad Defrosting Ways

    .. From Defrosting to Deforestation

    They are almost complete stories in the title alone.

  7. deadlyjelly said:

    I particularly like ‘Defrosting: A Love Story’, but not sure how it would go:

    “Chill, baby,” he whirred. I melted into his steely embrace. As he compressed me, I felt a deep chill, and realised – at last! – I had an ice box.



  8. solartap said:

    LOL – you kinda surprised me there at the end – wasn’t expecting.

  9. deadlyjelly said:

    Solar – am pleased I still manage to surprise you after all these years 😀


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