The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

Warning: some viewers may find the following footage disturbing.

Below are some videos we took after our daily walk this afternoon, of Jed with his favourite toy: ‘Ball’.

There are some things you should know, before these clips make you doubt our devotion to our dog.

Firstly, if you think I am tormenting my dog, well, I treat Husband a LOT worse. Which might only make you want to alert Amnesty International immediately after placing the call to Animal Welfare. However, it’s not as if either of them aren’t equipped with weapons. Husband has a modicum of wit at his disposal, and Jed’s teeth are extremely sharp.

Secondly, as you will hear in the videos, Jed is quite a chatty little fellow. He likes to ‘speak’ to us when he is excited about something or just wants to vent about the state of the world today. It does not denote agitation; that would be a distinctive whine and hiding.

Thirdly, this is the third iteration of Ball. We purchase them at vast expense from Animates on Lincoln Road, whenever Jed a) fails to retrieve them from the sea, b) throws them out the car window, and potentially c) drops them down a storm drain.

Fourthly, Jed dropped Ball down a storm drain yesterday. Ferndown Track ends beside a property at the head of Grassmere Road. Jed likes to taunt the two resident dogs from beyond the safety of their driveway gate, so just before the end of the track, I put him in a sit/stay. While I wrestled my bike over the barrier, Jed spat out Ball and it rolled into the gutter beside the track, and thence into the storm drain/pipe beneath the track.

While Jed sat and complained loudly about the absence of Ball, Husband and I traced the end of the pipe down the hill. It was a good twenty feet long. On hands and knees, you could just about make out Ball bobbing in a puddle of slimy mud about eight feet beyond reach. Since the pipe was only about eighteen inches diameter, sending Jed in after it would likely have resulted in both Ball and Puppy wedged up the pipe.

So we cycled back home where Husband collected the car, drove all the way back down Mountain Road, up Grassmere Road, and fished Ball out of the storm drain with a broom.

The things we do for that dog.

And don’t get me going on green tripe.

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Comments on: "Viewers are advised to use discretion" (2)

  1. Cian said:

    In the words of Ferrero Rocher, ‘you’re really spoiling us’ with the videos of Jed. You are now setting the expectation that it will be a regular occurance. Dare I say it but you might run the risk of being outshone by Jed. Ignore the above, I did not say it! as I am now afraid of running the risk that we shall now have a drought of videos. (Readers – shhh! we will know who the real star is)

    By the way I think we can tell that you were not tormenting Jed and indeed treating Husband worse. “He knows better than to trust you”, but yet Jed did in the end. Maybe Jed did it as he felt sorry for Husband with the abuse he was receiving. Now that I think about it Jed jumped on the board just to spite you. Maybe Husband is secretly training him….

    p.s. how about cheap tennis balls instead? Please do not use squash balls – Jed would not understand where they have been and they might be a bit small for him.

  2. […] New Zealand is casting off the shackles of winter and making a naked dash for the summer border. Our puppy/dog is entering fully into the spirit of spring – although it helps when he has Ball. […]

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