The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

  • The customer is never right.
  • Furthermore, the customer is always wrong.
  • And stupid (be sure to communicate this via disdain).
  • Lie.
  • If the customer shows signs of life, kill him with jargon.
  • Insist the problem is their modem – that should get rid of most of them.
  • Keep ’em on hold for half an hour – that’ll take care of the rest.
  • Tell the customer Slingshot is working on it but instead of logging the call, just laugh.
  • Blame Telecom.
  • Lie.

Comments on: "Slingshot call centre guidelines" (3)

  1. Slingshot sound worse, much worse, than anything I’ve experienced. Poor you. I hope this was cathartic, sweetpea. xx

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    Hi Di!

    Great to hear from you. Oh, Slingshot aren’t so bad.


    Yeah, Slingshot is terrible, but at least they don’t manufacture life support machines or bullet proof vests or the like. 😀


  3. Phew.

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