The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

  • The customer is never right.
  • Furthermore, the customer is always wrong.
  • And stupid (be sure to communicate this via disdain).
  • Lie.
  • If the customer shows signs of life, kill him with jargon.
  • Insist the problem is their modem – that should get rid of most of them.
  • Keep ’em on hold for half an hour – that’ll take care of the rest.
  • Tell the customer Slingshot is working on it but instead of logging the call, just laugh.
  • Blame Telecom.
  • Lie.
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Comments on: "Slingshot call centre guidelines" (3)

  1. Slingshot sound worse, much worse, than anything I’ve experienced. Poor you. I hope this was cathartic, sweetpea. xx

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    Hi Di!

    Great to hear from you. Oh, Slingshot aren’t so bad.

    ONLY KIDDING!

    Yeah, Slingshot is terrible, but at least they don’t manufacture life support machines or bullet proof vests or the like. 😀

    x

  3. Phew.
    x

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