Me: I had a terrible dream last night-
Husband <eagerly>: Oh yes?
Me: Well, you remember Stuart?
Husband: Who – the guy you used to work with?
Me: Yes, him. So, I dreamed I was out with Stu and some of his buddies, and someone suggested putting money in a kitty. To buy booze, you know? So I handed over ₤126-
Husband: POUNDS? Wow, that’s a lot of money-
Me: I know! I wasn’t happy about it but, you know, I was on the spot and I was the only female and I didn’t want the guys thinking women are stingy.
Husband: Fair enough.
Me: Yes, but a month later, I meet up with Stu, and he’s wearing a pair of Budweiser shoes-
Husband: Budweiser SHOES?
Me: Yes. Brand new, burnished leather. Lovely shoes-
Husband: How did you know they were Budweiser shoes?
Me: They had ‘Budweiser’ written up the side of them. Anyway, I realise that he’d used my ₤126 to buy himself a pair of fucking shoes. And all I got was a pair of Budweiser nail clippers.
Husband: That doesn’t sound like much return for ₤126.
Husband: Jesus, that’s a TERRIBLE dream.
Me: I know! I told you.