The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

“The rosemary’s just taken off in the last couple of weeks!” I enthused to our landlady this morning. “Here, come take a look.”

I was eager to show off my fledgling gardening skills. Since Landlady actually planted it, ‘skills’ in this case refer to a) Not Killing It; b) the thriving of rosemary in my vicinity; and c) the identification/cataloguing thereof.

I need a lot of reassurance when it comes to gardening.

Landlady initially made all the right noises when presented with the burgeoning bush. “Wow!” she said. “It’s . . . very . . . that’s funny . . . I don’t remember . . . is that . . . are you sure that’s rosemary?”

“Oh yes, uh-huh, I believe so,” I asserted confidently. “I used it to make rosemary flatbread last night. Andrew said it was EVEN BETTER than my garlic flatbread.”

Um, so, well, it appears it might in fact have been, er.

Lavender flatbread.


Comments on: "Application of herbs" (17)

  1. 😀 You made my day, again! A good thing to start the day laughing..and even more so when I saw all the snow outside my window which makes me want to cry. Anyway, I got a message from my internet book-store this morning, your book is now available for order..YAY 😀


  2. That is hilarious! Your gardening “skills” are like mine. I like plants that survive without me.
    Lavender flatbread sounds unusual but tasty. Thanks for that!

  3. Cian said:

    Oh no – Where I have ordered “About Time” it is still on pre-release status. Now I have checked amazon and cdwow and they both seem to have it in Stock… typical! Oh well only another couple of days.

  4. The funny thing is that the book is called “About Ime” where I’m ordering 😀

  5. Cian said:

    Indeed – It seems to be called About Ime in many places. Perhaps Ms. Shaw has written two books – I think that Ime might be a right sl%t (that is an acceptable word in Ireland used in daily language) altogether. I have a feeling she gets around. Perhaps I need to order that one too.

    But then again it could be a ploy to increase Sales. Perhaps it is that way in Malaysia too, so that it will reach the dizzy height of No. 1 in the Charts over there. I’m hoping that About Time will make it to Number 1 all on its own anyway. In all fairness it is about time! ha ha!

    So she may not know her Lavender from her Rosemary, but she is Smart in other ways. She is a cute hoor is Niamh. (Cute Hoor is also totally acceptable in Ireland – see wikipedia)

  6. Lavender flatbread does indeed sound delicious. And aromatic. Plus it would probably work as an emergency exfoliant. Well done you!

    Deadlyjelly, bringing the culinary revolution to Marlborough since 2010.

  7. mumsie said:

    So it’s true that some original recipies are just stumbled upon – and not all of them bad! Congratulations – publish your recipy and we’ll all have a go.

  8. MarkJ said:

    Pro: Perhaps Andrew’s left cheek squeak’s will be a little more bearable now? 🙂

  9. deadlyjelly said:

    About Ime?

    Well, I just received my copies of the book from the publisher, and at least the title is correct on the cover!

    Deane – I hope you enjoy this one as much as Smart Casual. I had much more fun writing About Time, which has to be a good start 😀

    Cian – I’m not sure how the logistics of book supply work, but this one seems to be available much faster than Smart Casual. I know my friend’s mother received her copy in the UK two days ago.

    Good to hear from you, by the way. I was beginning to wonder whether you had found someone else to stalk, and was getting obsessive about it 😀


  10. deadlyjelly said:

    Inevitablepear – unfortunately, any plants that survive without me are most accurately called ‘weeds’ :-/ This might explain why dill is exploding over the fence of my vegetable garden, having successfully eradicated most other life-forms.

    Vet – the last time we met I noticed your complexion was glowing. Thanks for sharing your beauty tip for exfoliation. I’m afraid there was no lavender flatbread left with which to give it a go.

    Mumsie – if you are keen to reproduce my original recipe for lavender flatbread, just follow the link in the post above. Where it says ‘rosemary’, simply substitute equal amounts of lavender. VOILA! I have to warn you, I made the recipe as intended – yes, I finally identified the rosemary – the other night, and it was much tastier. Although it didn’t smell as good.

    MarkJ – ok, there are two possible responses to your comment. The first is, “Yeah, but probably not,” the second, “HUH?” I’m in the mood to blag it, so I’ll go with the first 😀


  11. Cian said:

    Been spending a lot of time in Belgium and the UK recently – mainly for work, or the way I think about it my sins. I am now allowed to kill about 17 people. I got an allowance of 12 children alone for being stranded in London last week and having to get 3 buses, 3 trains, 1tube, 1 ferry and 1 taxi home..

    At the moment I am on the Isle of Wight on a Reiki/Meditation retreat. Normal Stalking Service will resume. Mind you you were pretty quiet too.

    And I got an email saying that my copy had been shipped. I may be reading four books at the moment (not this very second you understand) but I am sure that I shall fit yours in too.

  12. deadlyjelly said:

    MarkJ – OH, YOU MEAN A FART?!


  13. deadlyjelly said:

    Cian – well, the business travel doesn’t sound like much fun. But the Reiki/Meditation retreat – actually, that doesn’t sound like a barrelful of laughs either. Reiki – isn’t that pulling peoples’ toes? Kind of the human version of cow tipping? Don’t they get aggressive?


  14. Cian said:

    Ahem – Reiki has nothing to do with toes or cow tipping. It is actually rather difficult to give an accurate description, so I shall just leave it as kind of healing using ki energy via the hands. There does not need to be any touching at all (although it is actually nice to be on the receiving end if there is).

    But today your book arrived. I read the “Thanks”. I must admit that I have thought about joining Chantal in the past, but I have never had the guts. I am afraid of what might be said to me if I was caught. What I have done in many book stores is to make extra space around Smart Casual and place the copies facing outwards so they stand out. I have also been known to turn another author’s (we know who she is) books back to front so that nobody can see the spine. I’m afraid that using my portable shredder would make too much noise.

    And then you mentioned your favourite stalker. I was rather shocked and to be honest I haven’t stopped smiling since. I could snog you right now, assuming my tongue was long enough and Andrew (both of them really) was/were in another room. It was my birthday on Monday and that was one of the best presents ever!

    I have to lock it away now ’cause I just want to read it. Going on holiday on Saturday to the Lake District for a week, so I need to keep it for then.

  15. deadlyjelly said:

    Cian – you are most welcome, although I do expect you to relocate both my books to the bestseller lists from now on.


    PS Don’t you have a silencer for your portable shredder? It doesn’t cost that much as an extra, and is well worth it.

  16. Yay 🙂 Your book finally arrived yesterday! About Ime (:D), I’ve been waiting for ages!
    * Doing a little happy dance*


  17. deadlyjelly said:

    Hope the happy dance lasts until the final page – although executing complex dance moves whilst reading might be tricky 😀 Hope you enjoy it!


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