Yesterday afternoon was sullen. Mist pressed up against the living room windows. Atmospheric.
I was quite content partaking of the atmosphere from the leathery embrace of the sofa. However, Jed hadn’t been walked the previous day and was ricocheting off the furniture much like a sprung pinball. So Husband and I dressed in clothes appropriate for close-up atmosphere and set off up the road.
Barely out the gate, we saw the lights of a police car flashing blue and red through the mist. I heeled Jed as we approached.
And it was an ARREST! Three police cars had SURROUNDED this beat-up old vehicle and IMMOBILISED two CRIMS!!! Both were in HANDCUFFS, and one was FACE-DOWN ON THE VERGE OF THE ROAD!!!
I’d love to say the prone perp was headbutting the ground, spitting at the pigs and screaming expletives, but he was disappointingly subdued. Similarly, it would have been great if the policeman had planted his knee in the small of his back and snarled, “Listen up, crimscumbucket, another move out of you and I’ll drill you so full of lead your autopsy will be declared a hazardous waste site. Capiche?” then shot him in the knee and claimed it was self-defence.
I mean, really: I’m sure the police wouldn’t cop so much flak from the public if they just did their job. It’s all we’re asking.
Of course, I was DYING to ask what was going down, but nobody said anything at all, not even, “Move along, move along; nothing to see here.”
The felon on the ground gave me the evils. It’s the closest I’ve ever been to the chilling, cold, flat, dead eyes of a killer or something.
Can you believe it: CRIME LORDS IN PORT UNDERWOOD!!!
Or, you know, skeevy drug dealers. Whatever.