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The Towel Game

This one is dedicated to Jed’s groupies (note: signed photos of the canine star can be purchased for a modest sum. NO, he will not send you a lock of his hair – although if you ever visit just try running a hand over the carpet, or alternatively simply check your food especially anything baked).

Every day I take Jed for a walk and despite my best efforts to make a broad detour around mud-holes, Jed seems to either discover or – I don’t know – DIG UP new ones. He always ends up covered in mud, slime and several shades of drool. I get most of it off by using him to trawl the paddling pool out the back of the house.

Before bringing him inside, I rub him down. He particularly loves having his head toweled and sits there grunting obscenely as I scrub his ears.

I’m not sure how the game originated. One day I wrapped the towel around his head and Jed thought staggering around the living room trying to paw it off drunkenly was terrific fun – although probably not as much as Husband and me. And thus – in probably much the same tradition as the creator of Monopoly or Snakes n Ladders conceived of Monopoly and Snakes n Ladders – The Towel Game was born.

The rules are relatively simple. I start with possession of the towel and Jed attempts to confiscate it. He forfeits the game if he hits below the belt, or severs one of my limbs. It’s pretty evenly matched so far.

The only trouble is that whenever I come near him with a towel now, Jed pounces on it and worries it. Makes rubbing him down a challenge.


Comments on: "The Towel Game" (5)

  1. Cian said:

    Not saying anything about your previous published novels ’cause you know they are great, but have you considered publishing an exercise book? I think that you could convert your moves in the videos into a full blown exercise regime. The fitness industry is full of fads and I think that you could be onto a winner. Perhaps it could be a book/dvd combination. Maybe Jed could star in them too. Although that might be a bit controversial given his porn star past, or perhaps it might just give it the edge esp. if you use a pole.

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    An exercise regime based on avoiding furry airborne missiles? Interesting. Yes, I see how it could take off: Extreme Exercise, high risk of maiming.

    Jed’s involvement could only ensure success; these days, being an ex-porn star appears to have a mysterious celebrity cachet (see Hugh Jackman and Sylvester Stallone. Well, Jackman has cachet anyway, amongst his other attributes. Not so sure about Stallone.)


  3. Cian said:

    With Mr. Stallone’s looks how could he ever succeed as a pron star. Then again some people call him an actor. Well I guess he is useful. I mean if he is in a film, I know not to watch it.

  4. I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was particularly effective. Interesting rhythmic devices, too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the, writers compassionate soul; which contrived through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other. And one is left with a profound and vivid insight into… whatever it was the post was about…

    Yep – that just about sums it it up for me! 🙂

  5. deadlyjelly said:

    Cian – I think you’re doing Sylvester a disservice; I’m sure the man has a lot of stamina. Whatever about porn, I think he could have carved himself a glittering career as a prawn star.

    Mark – verse structure? Are you sure you were reading THIS post? You might want to ensure the door to the garage is kept CLOSED, the petrol fumes might be affecting your head.


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