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Brett and Debs are new friends – but not quite.

See, twenty five years ago, I was Brett’s brother’s penpal. If you want to go even further back, Brett’s father went to university with my dad. Although Brett’s family lived in the UK, both families would meet up once or twice a year at orienteering events.

I stopped writing to Brett’s brother shortly after he held my hand and I panicked because I was only fifteen and not ready to settle down and have children. I don’t recall whether I puked on his shoes or not, but it would’ve been close.

A couple of months ago, mum told me Brett and Debs were living in Christchurch. Husband and I called on one of our road-trips back from Oamaru to blag lunch. We were so taken with them and their family that if I were into abducting kids theirs would totally make the top of my list.

Last week, Brett and Debs and family came to stay with us for two nights. Despite three of them being miniature, that was a LOT of people in the house, but I thought we handled it pretty well.

The morning after they arrived, we were in the living room when Debs said, “Hey- what’s that? In the water. It looked like a fin.”

And I’m thinking, ‘Oh SURE; you wouldn’t see dolphins from up here’; until Debs said, ” . . . THERE!”

And just below our promontory were either two dolphins on STEROIDS, or a pair of killer whales. Even from a distance, we could tell they were absolutely he-owge.

Everyone rushed outside; I snapped away with the camera but stopped when I realised I was missing The Experience. After a while we saw the two whales were part of a larger pod; we counted nine in all, tooling around the Bay.

It’s difficult to describe The Experience, but I’ll give it a go. It was, like, AW WOW! mega WOAH TOTALLY AWESOME and way COOL that’s cool with five syllables.

In short: it was real.

There are killer whales in the back garden, dear

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Comments on: "There’s a killer whale in the back garden, dear" (4)

  1. Far out, man!

  2. Cian said:

    Nice piece of fiction writing! And how do I know it is fiction?

    There is NOTHING and I repeat NOTHING living in the seas around you. Don’t mention mussels as I know that you planted them before I visited.

    Then again since MarkJ is probably writing this of course it is fiction.

  3. Killer Whales have rubbish marketing people – I mean who thought that would be a good name?

  4. deadlyjelly said:

    FG – yes, but they were actually quite close.

    Cian – sure. Everything’s been eaten by killer whales.

    Lesley – oh, I don’t know about that. ‘Killer whale’ has my vote over ‘wimpy wet whale’.

    x

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