The deadliest, jelliest site ever. Brought to you by Niamh Shaw

(NB I’ve had no subject on which to test the theory, but I’m sure this technique would work just as well with a small child.)

(NB For optimal results, it helps if you throw your voice.)

Me: Aw, poor puppy. Will ANDREW NOT PLAY WITH YOU? Aw, HE’S NO FUN SOMETIMES. What’s that- he says he’s WORKING? I agree, it SEEMS LIKE A HANDY ALL-PURPOSE EXCUSE, although he is busy. Oh my goodness, that’s amazing; I was thinking the exact same thing, that HE COULD DO WITH A SHAVE. It’s like Stubble City around here. Does he give you beard rash too? That’s terrible. Stings- I KNOW! What’s that? He should PUT OUT THE FUCKING RUBBISH WHEN HE SAYS HE WILL? Ah, now. That’s a bit harsh. Although it’s hard to disagree with you.

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Comments on: "The subtle art of communicating with your partner via your dog" (6)

  1. Cian said:

    I really should not read this at work – given that there are only 4 of us in the office. I am in knots…

    Even more so when I misread one of your lines and I read:
    (NB For optimal results, it helps if you throw your child.)

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    I’m supposed to be working myself but there’s a mouse in my office. That’s my excuse.

    x

  3. deadlyjelly said:

    Seems as good an excuse as any. Better, even.

    x

  4. This might just be the most obvious passive-aggressive strategy of all time.

  5. deadlyjelly said:

    I am a passive-aggressive master, being able to mix and match at will. However, you have to take into account the personalities involved. All Andrew actually HEARS is, “TRALALALALALALA” which is really more melodically toneless than passive-aggressive.

    x

  6. Chanel said:

    Hello there, I found your website by way of Google at the same time as looking for a related topic, your site got here up, it appears to be like good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

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