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The inspiration for the following conversation came from a ball I’d thrown for the dog, which hit a tree about four feet away and rebounded back onto the path. 

Husband: Well, you’ve got more strength in your throwing, but your accuracy hasn’t improved much.

Me: It has too! My accuracy HAS improved.

Husband: Ok.

Me: Don’t say, ‘Ok’, as in: ‘Ok, I’ll magnanimously let her cling onto her pathetic little dreams’.

Me: I will not be patronised!

Husband: Ok: that’s shit! You sling the ball all over the place; most of the time you have NO idea where it’s going to go-

Me: Have I hit you in the head recently?

Husband: Well. No.

Thus Husband grudgingly agreed my throwing might have improved.

However, I’m now wondering how many times I aimed for his head and missed.


Comments on: "The horse’s mouth: more than just a mantelpiece ornament" (2)

  1. Cian said:

    I throw like a girl too (hopefully I am allowed to add the “too” bit). At the Australian Open you had to throw a ball in a hole to get a free neck cooler (Free Sh!t! yay) So in front of me goes a six year old – Straight in the hole, followed by her 4 year old sister who also gets it straight in the hole. After three attempts they just give me the neck cooler as the queue was getting longer and longer everytime I tried. I just smiled and ran…

  2. deadlyjelly said:

    Please cease and desist from using ‘too’ immediately, or I will take legal action. I totally throw like a male or female Olympic shotputter! I practice for at least one hour straight every day. My throws feature pinpoint accuracy, topspin, range and depth, lethal force and optimum splatter.

    You tempt me, but I’m going to resist the many, many jokes your story offered.


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