I suppose an account of what’s going on in The Deadly House of Jelly would be in order.
Well, the weather’s been happening. Lots of rain. Spots of sunshine. Wind, that’s fairly common.
So what else?
Let me see.
Oh yes: hey!
In fact, this is the culmination of a long journey. Over the years, it gradually became clear Andrew and I were unable to have children without medical assistance. We were aware that many couples undergo years of fruitless IVF treatment and were prepared for failure – in fact, expected it – yet completely ill-equipped for some degree of success. Although luckier than many, we have experienced some heartbreaking lows along the way.
But I am delighted to report that, at the 13 week scan last week, ‘The Asset’ (working title) appears to be cookin nicely. He’s also an unbelievably handsome foetus. The radiologist actually said, “WOW. That’s possibly the best-looking foetus I have ever seen”.
Ok I admit it: he didn’t. Evidently an oversight or professional negligence.
When we first saw The Asset, he was stretched out full-length, completely laid back, legs crossed, arms behind the head, all “Man, this place is cool,” and wondering how to score some contraband. So there’s no doubt Andrew’s his dad. We’re not sure who the mother is yet – although since he’s so photogenic, there have to be some of my genes in the mix.
Even though The Asset is only about 8cm long, he has little feet! And hands! And fingers! It’s just so reassuring knowing he’ll be able to pick his own nose.
I’m thinking of getting a t-shirt with the slogan:
The Asset (with helpful arrow)
or my favourite, as suggested by MarkJ:
Just fucking fat, all right?
Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, I’m secretly convinced I’m the only person on the planet who ever got sprogged. By the way, if you ever catch me with my hand on my belly looking smug, you have my full permission – no, in fact, I ORDER you – to give me a sound kick up the cervix.
Anyway, that’s probably quite enough about spawning.
In other news: we’re moving house at the end of September.