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Meet Finn


Dad gets to grips with his son

I am proud to introduce you to the newest member of our family.

Finn made his debut in the world on 5 January via my stomach, successfully evading a scalpel, suction hose and over-enthusiastic anesthesiologist.

Finn at roughly three hours old

Despite watching the ‘Mutant Babies’ DVD, I wasn’t prepared for the dubious first impression. Finn looked a bit like E.T. mated with a frog. In my defense, it didn’t help that he was blue and covered in goo. Judging by his outraged roars, Finn was equally unimpressed with us.

During the months he spent camped out in my uterus, I had formed an impression of what my child would be like. Finn was completely different; yet within 24 hours I couldn’t imagine any alternative to his reality.


Finn at two days old, dressed in driving gears for his first car-trip

I always thought Andrew’s genes would spank mine into submission and I was right. Finn has huge, dark blue eyes which I’m pretty sure will eventually be brown; fat little cheeks; and a wide mouth. I’m also grateful he inherited Andrew’s nose, rather than my prominent proboscis. However, since he wees and/or poops on me during every change, all indications suggest he has his mother’s sense of humour.

He also takes after his father in temperament. So far, Finn has been a total joy – placid and laid-back. Some people have been kind enough to suggest this is due to my parenting skills, but since said skills are largely limited to not getting his head stuck in drains, I’m pretty sure it’s mostly his personality.

He also smells delicious.

The last few weeks have been a blur, time blending into itself. I couldn’t tell you whether it’s morning or evening, and I have – at best – a one in seven chance of identifying what day of the week it is.

I’m not sure how someone who weighs less than 3kg and sleeps so much has had such a profound effect on our lives, yet everything has changed utterly. The other day I was straightening my hair and thought, “What is the point of this? I mean . . . just . . . WHAT is the POINT?” (The self-doubt may have been due to doing my hair while loading the washing machine between spoonfuls of muesli.)

Also, I can’t believe how much laundry Finn generates. I normally run a load during the red-eye feed at 03:00hrs.

But mainly, I love my son with a ferocity and compulsion to hold him safe, for which I was completely unprepared. I would totally kill for my child if serving double-life for manslaughter weren’t ultimately detrimental to his upbringing. My feelings are so intense I am often required to under-compensate with lame jokes like how I previously thought it impossible to love somebody with a hairline that started at his eyebrows.

I’m delighted motherhood has added new depths to my shallowness.

Although the first couple of weeks have been fairly brutal, I can honestly say I’ve cherished every moment.


Most moments.

Not so much the time, early in the morning, when Finn cried and in my sleep-deprived state I thought Andrew had picked him up and handed him to me but I couldn’t find him. Andrew woke me as I plucked desperately at the bedclothes, wailing “MY BABY! MY BABY! WHERE’S MY BAAABYYY?”

There are also plenty of occasions I’m in tears, usually after I’ve been mean to my mum (who’s doing a first-class job keeping house) or because I’m exhausted. But mainly when I look down at my son and cry because I am so incredibly, unbelievably fortunate and lucky enough to know it.

Little frog


Comments on: "Meet Finn" (11)

  1. Wow! What a cutie little Finn is – mutal frog- looks and all 😉 Congratulations and welcome to parenthood. Im so looking forward to reading about this new addition to your family….this is going to be – if at all possible – even more hilarious than you usually are 🙂

  2. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!

  3. There is nothing like the fresh smell of a new baby! I am SO happy for you! You realize that you will probably be sleep deprived and incoherent for the next several months. Your postings should be funnier that ever! Much love to you and Andrew and baby Finn!

  4. Congratulations! I can empathise with all the feelings described above, except those involving a uterus. The laundry really is astonishing, isn’t it? And I consider you’re doing pretty well at 3 a.m. if you can avoid loading muesli into the washing machine.

    Advice: for the next year, take videos at least once a week. You’ll be astonished at how fast he changes, and one day you’ll be glad of the blackmail material.

  5. Debs craddock said:

    Ooh, so excited to see some pics of you both and Finn, can’t wait to show the girls tomorrow and interested to see Dan’s reaction! Can completely remember all that you talk about even though that was 16 years ago now but it’s such a scrumptious time. Enjoy every sleep deprived irrational moment. Will be in touch soon to arrange a pop by. Take good care of you xxxxx

  6. mumsie said:

    Congratulations to all of you, except possibly the Jedster who is most likely feeling a bit neglected. The long,unaccustomed silence has found me worrying about you and wondering how you were doing. Things have changed since our days (50 ish years ago) – you were kept in hospital for 8 – 10 days back then! Enjoy the little man and your new life. You all look so good.


  7. Dave Shaw said:

    Hey Niamh, congratulations to you both. The lil’ guy looks fab & love his name ! Enjoy the experience & remember to take every opportunity to catch a few Z’s whenever you can. Healthy happiness. x

  8. I love the photos of you and your wee little man. Yes, words cannot express the bond, which is primal. And while yes, it *is* lovely, it is also brutal. Parenting is the ultimate Extreme Sport. Your highs will be higher, your lows will be lower.

  9. OH GOD, You’re back!! This is so extremely excellent!!!!!!!!!! I had the wee thought called ‘but where’s she gone????’ however it was a thought that only came into my head when I was unable to reach the computer and write. I’m a gran. I forget stuff. First it was lactation dementia (which goes on for years) now I’m a gran. Sigh.

    Anyway, congratulations. He looks marvellous and you sound good.

    And, I needed to tell you, I loved your book. Gert did too. Love your blog, couldn’t put down the book. Okay, I think that’s enough from me. I was just all excited about finding your blog posts in my google reader.

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