Mum: I’ve taken the frying pan off the ring. It was very hot.
Me: Yes. Er. Can you put it back, please? It’s supposed to be hot before the fish goes on.
Mum: That hot?
Mum: The salmon’s burning.
Me: No, it’s not.
Mum: Are you sure?
Mum: Did you turn it over?
Me: Two minutes ago, when you were riffling through the compost for some reason I didn’t interrogate you mercilessly about for only minutes although it felt like hours.
Mum: That salmon doesn’t look done.
Me: Oh, but it is.
Mum: It’s still pink inside.
Me: It’ll continue cooking for the next minute or so, even with the heat turned off.
Mum: I don’t think it’s done.
Me: Because it doesn’t look like a lump of coal? IT’S DONE.