Oh, you didn’t know we were gone? Right. Yes. That was because we didn’t want to announce our six-week vacated status to the World Wide Web in case some rogue geek decided to rob the house.
In retrospect, it’s more likely the joint would have been cleaned out by the mailman and his mate, Bones, after they noticed the knee-high layer of dead leaves in the entranceway. We might as well have erected a neon sign on the roof saying: ‘Vacant house, robbers welcome’.
Anyway. After a 47,000km round-trip that took in Auckland, Dubai and Ireland, it’s wonderful to be back in our unburgled home. The Outlaws picked us up in DunedinAirport and drove us back to the farm where we were reunited with our dog.
Apparently Jed made Tex his bitch and they went around running a protection racket on the other dogs. He was absolutely filthy and covered in dreadlocks and would have looked like some sort of derelict, neglected mutt but that he was about twice as fat as when we last saw him. The Outlaws reported that he turned into quite the gourmand during his stay at the farm, developing a taste for chicken feed.
He’d evidently had a blast, but was touchingly ecstatic to see us. In fact, he settled back into the house as if we’d never gone.
Driving home, we pulled over to let a car pass on a one-lane road. Husband gave a neighbourly wave and in response, the driver extended a rigid middle digit.
Ah, it’s good to be home.