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Posts tagged ‘customer is always wrong’

Slingshot call centre guidelines

  • The customer is never right.
  • Furthermore, the customer is always wrong.
  • And stupid (be sure to communicate this via disdain).
  • Lie.
  • If the customer shows signs of life, kill him with jargon.
  • Insist the problem is their modem – that should get rid of most of them.
  • Keep ’em on hold for half an hour – that’ll take care of the rest.
  • Tell the customer Slingshot is working on it but instead of logging the call, just laugh.
  • Blame Telecom.
  • Lie.

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