I think Róisín kidnapped my muse, because there hasn’t been a cheep for days. It doesn’t help that I read over old work and consider it a pile of crap; alternatively, I think, “Wow, that’s terrific!” followed swiftly by, “How can I ever write like this again? Pass the razor.”
I’ve been here before and know I’ll come out the other side eventually – however, it feels like I’ll never be able to write again. I have spent the slack time reviewing my notes, and keep coming across things like: ‘The crow flies thrice around the scorched holly tree’ and ‘Snails. Withered balloons’ or ‘Karmic tantra as applicable to cayopses. Can make something out of this? Investigate’.
I have no idea what I was trying to tell myself (any suggestions welcome). This state of affairs is particularly distressing for two reasons: (1) it’s not often that I have an idea inspiring enough to write down, so these lines of gibberish represent the best that my brain has to offer and (2) I’ve never fully realized how twisted my mind actually is.
On the bright side, I now have a sleek new laptop with full size keyboard, glowing blue lights and shiny silver casing. It is about five times faster than my Compaq Evo – I don’t know what to do with myself now that I don’t have to wait three minutes for web pages to load.
The great laptop hunt was ferocious and poor Andrew spent hours prowling around the computer shops with me.
“How about this one? Is this a good one?”
“You’ve already asked me that. Five times.”
“What was the answer again?”
“Same as last time.”
In the end I went for a Dell XPS M1210. Much to Husband’s disgust, it was the very first laptop I’d picked out over three weeks ago. To his even greater horror, it was Dhs 500 more than a HP laptop with slightly more features. He was bitterly resentful that I chose a computer for form rather than functionality. Regretfully the HP computer was quite revolting; every time I looked at it, I wanted to gouge out my eyeballs with stale nachos, which I didn’t feel was conducive to creativity. In addition to which, I’m sure nacho crumbs are bad for a keyboard.
At the same time, I don’t want to give you the impression that I simply picked out the prettiest laptop. Oh no. After viciously paring the shortlist down to two – the Dell and HP – I looked up some reviews on the internet. The Dell is geared more towards gamers, so all the reviews were written by geeky kids. They may have no idea how to get to first base with a girl or use multi-syllabic words, but by gum they know their computers and acne gel. The Dell consistently scored higher reviews than the HP.
I am delighted with my new computer, and my fingers are already starting to revert back to hand rather than claw formation.
Better go and see if I can torture some creativity out of myself. At the least I’ll spend a couple of hours caressing my new laptop – I’m quite shallow that way