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Posts tagged ‘isp’

Q: What is worse than big tobacco? A: Begins with ‘S’ and ends with ‘lingshot’

For nearly two weeks, I have been lost without Internet access. It’s been a disaster. I haven’t been able to use my landline, update Deadlyjelly, check email, surf Wikipedia, buy crap on Trademe, find out the history of fleur de lis, look up Maori face tattoos, view photos of drunk strangers on Facebook, or research the reproductive cycle of the fruit fly.

On the upside, this has freed up HOURS every day; in the region of six. I have done loads of writing.

This morning, Slingshot called to tell me I was back online. ONLY KIDDING! Haha, got you there. Of course they didn’t, because that would involve a modicum of proactivity and/or basic customer care.

Instead, I fought the crushing miasma of despair and hopelessness to fire up my browser in the unlikely to improbable event Slingshot had fixed the problem. I mean, last Saturday during my bi-daily call, I was told I would be back online within 24-48 hours, but that’s one of the things they say to snuff out your will to live. Because it’s not as if I hadn’t heard it before – on no less than five occasions during the previous 12 days.

Of course Slingshot offered to recompense me for any downtime and inconvenience. ONLY KIDDING! They agreed to refund $40, which covers maybe one of the international phone calls to my mobile from Husband who is currently in Dubai – and I had to call them to request the rebate. At least I wasn’t on hold for half an hour – ONLY KIDDING! Goodness, the laughs just keep coming.

Slingshot is evil. If you are employed by Slingshot: shame on you. Why don’t you go and work for a more ethical company, like big tobacco or a munitions manufacturer?

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