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Posts tagged ‘jargon’

Slingshot call centre guidelines

  • The customer is never right.
  • Furthermore, the customer is always wrong.
  • And stupid (be sure to communicate this via disdain).
  • Lie.
  • If the customer shows signs of life, kill him with jargon.
  • Insist the problem is their modem – that should get rid of most of them.
  • Keep ’em on hold for half an hour – that’ll take care of the rest.
  • Tell the customer Slingshot is working on it but instead of logging the call, just laugh.
  • Blame Telecom.
  • Lie.

Lingo

Driving to Achill Island yesterday, a car shot in front of us out a side road, causing Husband to brake sharply.

“The big gobshite,” said Husband.

The sentiment could only have been improved by the use of the words ‘hairy’ and ‘feck’ or variations thereof, but otherwise it was spoken like a native. I’m delighted Husband’s Irish genes have found a verbal outlet.

Achill Sound

The end of Achill barely visible in the mist

Husband looks stressed at the prospect of a walk, despite being heavily armed with umbrella

I love fungus

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