Mother-In-Law has no clothes dryer and only one set of bed linen. Therefore, laundering the sheets is conditional on the weather.
She is specific about her requirements: light south westerly, bright sunshine, little to no cloud cover, 32+degrees, and a cast-iron guarantee that the given conditions will persist to late afternoon. She has to make her decision before 7am, because her washing machine takes about five hours for a cycle due to low water pressure.
I suppose she must wash her sheets about once a year.
In Oamaru yesterday, I passed a shop with a bargain bin full of bedlinen. Standing out amidst a truly startling selection of blood-quickening bedwear, was a set of royal-blue satin queen-sized bedsheets.
Did I mention they were satin?
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realised with a certainty and conviction atypical for me, that royal-blue satin queen-sized bedsheets were the only possible way to express my keen appreciation and gratitude to the Outlaws for putting me up for the last x months weeks.
I took the sheets – secured with a matching satin ribbon – inside to pay.
“Aren’t they LOVELY?” enquired the saleswoman.
“Um,” I mumbled, humbled by her sincerity. “What, the sheets? Er, yes! Yes, indeed.”
“Was it the colour that caught your eye?”
“Oh yes, it really stood out,” I said, grabbing my purchase and making a run for it.
I called into a newsagents a few doors down to see if I could buy some matching wrapping paper. There was nothing bright enough – but I got something else.
“Is there any chance I could wrap this here?” I asked, reluctantly setting the sheets on the counter.
“Oh, my! Aren’t those GORGEOUS?” breathed the saleswoman.
I can only conclude the good denizens of Oamaru all sleep on bright blue satin sheets – or at least aspire to it